𝗢𝗢𝗚𝗢𝗘 𝗗𝗜𝗔𝗠𝗢𝗡𝗗────── k. aren x original character

𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬

kotoe has never been kissed before.

she, of course, has kissed her father and mother's cheeks. and kuusuke's too, alongside kusuo's. and kokomi was close enough to her that they would kiss each other's cheeks when taking photo booth pictures.

but she has never been kissed romantically.

she never thought much about it, of course, she was in her second year of high school. she hasn't even lived half her life yet. more doors are going to open for her—more clock will begin to tick, and more people will begin to be written in and out her story.

being kissed (or rather, not being kissed) has never been a topic of concern for her. except when it comes to hirano mika.

tall, handsome, intelligent hirano mika-kun.

a story for another day, she is sure, but at times, she does find herself thinking of the reason why he might have refused to kiss her. not in a bad way, no. in a way that acts as a front of a shallow attempt at self-reflection. in a way that allows kotoe to try and think of herself from other people's point of view.

she has always thought that she was too dumb for him. it was an odd relationship—the school's athlete celebrity and the holder of the first position of grades in the entire grade, only mika was the smart one. he would die before picking up a tennis racket, the same way kotoe can feel her head creaking at the sight of a chemistry problem. it was either the fact that she was too dumb, or too unpretty.

kotoe didn't mind not being the prettiest girl around. it eventually messes with your head, though, dating a person who seems to be more attracted to a twig on a tree than to you. and every girl wants to feel pretty at some point—at least that's what kotoe tells herself whenever she finds herself trying to manipulate her own mind into belittling her own feelings.

and if not every girl wants to feel pretty, she wants to feel pretty. and that's what matters most.

but in the end, it's not a need. just a secondary—tertiary, even, luxury—desire that she can live without.

is it strange, then, under that blistering hot sun and chalked flooring and melting cooling packs, that she felt like the prettiest girl allowed to live?

as the bell continue to ring, kotoe realized that she had less and less time to return to class. but she was stuck in the trance—her and kuboyasu's lips just inches away from each other. they were breathing the same air, and she was quite literally almost vanishing against his hold.

eventually, she blinked. as the heat crawled up her face, color drained from her eyes when the gravity of their stance sank to her.

"i—"

she broke the silence, heart beating irregularly. panic rose within her, and she was the first one to push him away.

shit—