Stage One: Hope in Darkness

Holding Out (Annabelle)

 Birds woke me, as they did every morning. At least until the winter hit and they all migrated south. The world had ended but life still went on. Honestly it was probably better off now that us humans weren't constantly polluting it. Only upside to the apocalypse was that the planet would last longer. Like that really meant anything anymore. Guess all those save the world types were rolling over in their graves, hopefully. Least in a world like this there weren't any vegans anymore. I giggled at the absurd thought that crossed my mind. If they wanted to survive you ate whatever came your way. If they had turned....well the walkers certainly were not vegan.

I move my hand so it falls off the bed, hitting something warm, fluffy and soft. Morning Hannibal. He makes a small grumbling noise, he is not much of a morning person. Wolves are nocturnal by nature, but I refuse to go out at night. Over the years though Hannibal had become accustomed to our schedule. Even if he still grumbled about it. Getting dressed takes me only a minute. Waterproof hiking pants with lots of pockets, a long sleeve shirt, my waterproof jacket, combat hiking boots, and of course the scarf that hides my scars. It could get hot under it all in the summer but it was better to be hot than unprepared.

The soup from last night was still sitting on the wood stove. Yay me. God I miss chocolate and ice cream, and chocolate ice cream. One of the downfalls of my solitary life was the lack of variety in my meals. Rabbit stew was a staple of my diet. I did not bother to reheat the soup, just slurped it down cold. My eyes scanned the small room. The empty water jugs caught my attention. I had to get water today, that meant eating the meat that I had cured myself. homemade jerky was not the best of foods but I would be fine. Hannibal on the other hand, he prefered a fresh kill. Curing my own meat had its advantages though. I always tried to keep at least a week's worth of food in my house and enough for three days in my pack. It made it so much easier if I got hurt. I had once broken my ankle while out on a hunt. Hannibal and I had been stalking a deer when we ran straight into a bear. He had not been happy to see us.

Honestly I was pretty lucky to only get a broken ankle, I could have died and been bear chow. That bear chased me until we ran into a pack of walkers, the poor thing did not stand a chance once they got a hold of it. The bear had distracted the walkers and the walkers had distracted the bear. Little old me and Hannibal had been able to slip away during the chaos.

I had quickly discovered that hunting on a broken ankle sucks. It taught me a valuable lesson. Keep enough food around so when you get hurt and can't hunt you will not starve. Out here by myself it was like I had to learn everything the hard way. It is what you deserve after you left her. I shoved that voice inside me back down. Swallowing down the thick glob of guilt.

I secured two empty water jugs to my belt. Hannibal would carry four on the harness I had made for him. My boy never complained about carrying the extra weight. I gave a soft whistle for him and he rose from his bed with a stretch and a grumble. A smile pulled at my lips. My sweet boy. He stood still as I fitted the harness and fastened the jugs. Ready boy? I looked at the door, Hannibal followed the movement. We did not need words, Hannibal and I had been together a long time. Our whistles, body language, and broken sign language was all we needed to understand each other perfectly. His nose was strong enough that he could also smell my moods. Hannibal knew what I wanted. Hannibal moved to the door and waited for me to open it. Once outside I locked the door behind us. It had been a task to find a door knob with a lock and a key. It was worth it for the feeling of security it brought me. I wore the key on a chain around my neck. I tucked it into my shirt.

Hannibal stood over at the basket, ready to be lowered down. Hand over hand I let Hannibal down. I kicked down the ladder and clambered down after him. It was an hour hike to the river, at a slow pace. One that enabled both me and Hannibal to be completely silent. Mostly me, Hannibal could go unnoticed at a full sprint if he wanted. We had to be careful because the river overlooked the city. Sometimes we had wandering survivors come through, and the walkers flocked to the cities. Sometimes the walkers wandered all the way up here or came through on the way to the city. Slow, steady and quiet was better than a quick lunch. This was the best way to avoid any fuss. No need to draw any unwanted attention to ourselves. With only the two of us we were vulnerable to attacks, we couldn't take on a big group of walkers. It also made us easy targets to any other survivors out there.

I knew the way to the river by heart, no need to open my compass. Hannibal followed me, the two of us moving silently through the trees and the undergrowth. My green shirt, dark brown jacket and deep gray pants made for the perfect camouflage. I blended into the forest with ease. It also protected my fair skin from the sun's rays. Nobody wants a sunburn in a zombie apocalypse. Even the gloves I wore served a purpose. They had saved my skin, quite literally, on more than one occasion. If I had to climb to get away from something I could. Hannibal's harness would get hooked up to me and I would carry the two of us to safety.

To make myself even more invisible in the forest I could pull the scarf up and use it as a hood. It was big enough. It was good because my long auburn locks did not exactly scream blending in.

The hike to the water was a long one but a necessary one. Everything needed water, well except walkers, and if we were close in increased our chances of running into one another. Not just people but animals too. An hour-long hike was the price to pay for privacy. I absolutely didn't want to be near the lake either, I can't go back there. Not ever. That was why this little river was the perfect solution.

It even made a great scouting point. The view made it easy to spot anything that might be coming my way and disturb the peace. It was not long before we reached the river. I swiftly filled our jugs and secured them back to our packs.

When that task was done I moved over to the hidden cash I left here. I had dug a hole and covered it with sticks and leaves. Inside was a telescope, saved me from having to lug it back and forth. I set it up and took a peek. It was pointed at the city. Walkers filled the streets, more than usual. They were more agitated than usual. Something must have stirred them up. Hmmmm. I followed their path, watching where they all seemed to be heading.

I tried not to but I couldn't help the urge to scan the faces of the walkers. I knew exactly who I was looking for. I both hoped to see her and prayed not to. I pleaded with myself, waiting for her face to fill the lense. I prayed for and dreaded it simultaneously. I want to end her pain, offer the sweet release of death, but my heart feels wrenched out of my chest at the thought of killing her. Even if it is just the empty husk of what she once was. Seeing her would mean giving up that last sliver of hope, my head knew that she was gone. That she had died that night and would not be coming back, but my heart is a fallible machine, willing to believe in anything if it eases this pain inside. Focus Annabelle. Now is not the time to get distracted! I moved the telescope slowly, scanning the walkers with a glance. There! That walker had no arms..... only one group did that kind of thing. Ripper walkers. they must be nearby. They didn't let their pets wander very far. I packed up the telescope quickly. If they were here then I did not want to be anywhere near them. Those monsters loved to eat human flesh just like the walkers. Fucking cannibals. Looks like you and me will be holding up for a little while Hannibal. No way am I going out with those cannibal psychos running about.

The pace I set back to the house was fast, much faster than the way here. I wanted nothing more than to be back in our little sanctuary. We reached the house quickly. I got us up double time and shut and bolted the door behind us. I sighed in relief, safe.