Spellbound

11

SOLEIL

Someone call the doctor

Got a case of a love bipolar

Stuck on a roller coaster

Can't get off this ride 

Katy Perry - Hot N Cold

*

Brice has been ignoring me. 

Not the 'hey I'm talking to you and you aren't responding to me' type of ignoring, but the 'I see you and I'm choosing not to engage' kind. I'm not gonna lie, he has me feeling some type of way as I make my way over for our Friday night study session. How can the guy be hot one minute, like he can't get enough of me, and the next he's cold? That's how people catch a virus and end up coughing, sneezing, and nursing congestion. 

I'm going to be sick if I continue this fixation, but I can't help it. Before he was eye candy but now he's in my blood. He's kissed me and touched me in ways no guy ever has. My nipples get hard just thinking about it. My kitty clenches when I think of him grinding on me outside my dorm. It's like he was ready to go further. 

I wasn't. 

I was overwhelmed and pushed him away. I got scared. I've been with a total of two guys. One during the holidays visiting family in Maine and the other was Adebayo Obi in 10th grade. Both relationships were dust in under three months. 

Whatever was happening with Brice died within 3 days.

To be honest I'm deep in my feelings but I refuse to let him, or anyone else for that matter, see me sweat. Charlondra called me pathetic when she saw me in a funk after a week of him giving me the cold shoulder. She wasn't being mean. Her emotional intelligence probably ranks around her age. Her EQ is trash which is why I'm her only friend and I guess she's also mine. We get each other. 

She did feel bad for it though once I distinguished the connotations versus the denotation of the word. As an apology she gave me the Comic Con tickets that were intended for Christmas. With no regard for surprises, she revealed she'd pay for the plane tickets as my Christmas gift instead. 

I don't mind since we're now planning a coast to coast tour which gives me something to look forward to when I graduate. I have a place in Boston and family spread out over a few States, so I got the accommodation covered.

Things are looking up. Thinking about travelling always lifts my mood. Milton House can make you feel like this school is your entire world and that you are undesirable considering the limited population and the even fewer black people. How could one guy, one, have asked me out in my entire 5 year career? 

Before I get into another funk, I shift my mind back to the holidays and the fact that I'm going to be meeting up with my dad's side of the family. 

The Spellman clan are generally loud and rambunctious at a party. The Khumalos, my mom's side, are pretty much the same which is probably how my parents hit it off. They were in love and full of life. Unfortunately, I've spent most of my life in South Africa following the murder of my parents. After losing her daughter, my gran refused to let me stay in 'Babylon' as she calls it. 

The Spellmans didn't have much of a leg to stand on considering the school shootings, protests of racism, and the police never found the culprit. I'm not even going to mention the police brutality because that really gets my gran going about them not doing their jobs. The police in SA aren't any better seeing that you can bribe one with a 'colddrink'.