07 | attention seeker

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Jo

PEN IN HAND, I scribble down words that come to my mind into my journal. Today, my head is a truckload of ideas willing to be seen by someone. Anyone. But I'm not confident enough to show my writing to the rest of the world, so I do what I always do; write, fold and give to grandma who always reads them after I've left for school.

I've come up with a short prose today and when I read through it the third time, something at the back of my mind tells me it's article worthy. Worthy enough to be in the school's newspaper. I think about Lakeville weekly and what it would be like to actually gather the guts to submit any of my writings at their department. I think about the attractive head writer and school paper president and I think about the little crush I may or may not have developed on him. It's weird really. We barely take any classes together so I'm at least 99.99% sure he doesn't know who I am. I'm pretty much invisible at school anyway but that's who I've made myself to be.

It's good as much as it's bad.

I sigh and fiddle with my pen before placing my head on the desk. I feel the computer's light glaring at me from it's previously used state and I pick at the small dirt on the table. I lift my head again and take out my blood glucose meter and prick my finger before waiting for the results. Just as it comes and I sigh in satisfaction, a rap on the door makes me dump everything into my purse and sitting upright.

I don't get the chance to invite the person in, because Eloise suddenly appears behind the door with two heavy boxes in her hands and a smile on her face.

"Hey," she greets breathlessly. "These two just came in. Otis is too lazy to help."

I get to my feet and walk towards her immediately in an attempt to relieve her of her burden. "Thanks, you didn't have to."

I take one of the boxes and place it on the floor just as she places the second one right on top of it. "It's no problem," she waves me off. "I'm used to this."

She dusts her hands on her little dress and then she says, "Oh, it's already six but I'm sure you wouldn't know because you've pretty much been cooped up here all day."

I smile awkwardly and flail my hands about. "So much work to do." And so much writing to do as well.

"Nah, I get it. Well, it's breaktime so come on out. What do you feel about sushi? We're thinking of ordering sushi."

I beam. "Sushi's good."

She gives me two big thumbs up. "Perfect." And then she disappears behind the door.

I lean down and open one of the boxes before perusing through some of the books. They're newly donated books from the label on top of the box and most are in good shape. Deciding to sort them out later, I close the box and leave the office.

There's a tang of roasted coffee beans in the air as soon as I step into the warmth of the bookstore. There's a few customers here and there, and two of them are already leaving. Through the glass windows, I'm able to see that the sun is half asleep and the sky is a warm blue and the light activity going on beyond these walls. Lakeville is pretty much a sleepy town so not much goes on when it's almost night.

I divert my attention from Otis who's bickering about something with Eloise and head towards the aisle between bookshelves, tracing my fingers along the spines of each book as I go. It calms me a little, grazing my fingers on the edges and spotting one that has been tainted with an orangish hue. I pick that one out and look through the gap that has been formed to see a man facing a bookshelf.

His back faces me, hidden from view by a black Tee and the muscles contract when he raises his hand to pick a book from the top shelf. I stare at him for a moment, at his neck, his arms and then his head. His head and his dark hair. I frown. I know that head anywhere.

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