Love isn't Real

.4.

Ergophobia is the fear of being lazy or not doing work. Declan has this :( Also I looked this up so if it's wrong don't come at me😭
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My head is pounding from crying, I don't know how long I've been sitting on the floor with my back to the door. I lift my head wiping my eyes with my hands. I stand up but stumble a little. I steady myself then walk over to where all of the shopping bags lay on the floor. I grab a foot rest from one of the chairs that is in the room to sit on. I grab one bag and grab what's inside of it, which was only two pairs of jeans. One was black with a few holes and the other was white with rips. I set them back in the bag then put the bag behind me. I grab another bag grabbing what is in there. I pull out what looks like twenty pair of different colored pajama pants.

I can't help but let out a small giggle, they are really cute. One has a small blue guy on it, another has a small cute little pig and much more cute animals or things. I put them back in the bag then set that bag behind me. This is going to take at least an hour then another hour to put them away on the huge closet.

I go threw the rest of the bags which have a bunch of very cute and nice shirts, socks, a few pairs of nice shoes, more jeans along with some shorts and that's about it. Oh and some jackets and hoodies. I huff as I pick up some of the shopping and take them into the closet then I get to work putting everything in it's place.
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I stand in the full walk in closet a little proud of myself for getting this done. I flick off the light then walk out shutting the door behind me. I move the foot rest back where it was then sit on the king sized bag with a sigh. I lay back against the bed when someone knocks on the door. I slowly get up and open the door. Anthony stands there with a tray. He doesn't say anything he just looks at me and I avert my eyes. "Your eyes are red, are you okay?" He asked. I don't answer and hope he drops the subject.

"I brought you dinner" He changes the subject and I let out a silent sigh of relief. He lowers the tray showing me what is on it. Looks like chicken with a vegetable and a cup of water. "You're staring at the Brussels Sprouts" He says making me look up at him. "A-Are they good?" I ask looking back down at the tray. He shrugs making sure not to spill anything. "I like them" Was all he said. I take the tray from him and give him a small smile. "Thank you Anth- I mean s-sir" I stutter on my words my cheeks heating up with embarrassment.

"You can call me Anthony" He corrected with a smile. I nod then walk over to the bed setting the tray down then walking back over. "You can leave the tray in front of the door. Brian will pick it up then bring it to the kitchen" Anthony says with a nod. Then he walks away and I shut the door letting out a sigh. I am not going to do that, I will bring the tray to the kitchens myself. I don't like people cleaning up a mess I make.

I sit in the bed just staring at the food at first. I didn't make this. Someone made it for me, it doesn't feel right. I should be doing work and I should be making dinner. I shouldn't be taking the gifts Hazel got for me, I shouldn't be in Anthony's house. Something swirls in my stomach making me feel sick. I don't deserve food made by someone else. Father told me if I want something I have to do it myself or it's being lazy. Lazy? I gulp and bring my knees to my chest the sick feeling in my stomach getting worse. Being lazy is bad, it's bad, and if I'm bad then father will hurt me. He will hit me, yell at me. He'll....

My hand flies over to cover my mouth bile rising in my throat. I quickly stand from the bed and dash into the bathroom dropping to my knees and letting it out. I squeeze my eyes shut at the burning on my throat. I flush the toilet reopening my eyes just staring at the clean title. After a little bit I stand up resting my hands on the smooth marble sink. Slowly I lift my head staring at myself in the huge mirror. My breath hitches, I haven't looked at myself in a long time. My black hair was everywhere and my purple eyes were staring back at me.

"Hideous!" A voice hisses. My bottom lip trembles. "Ugly!" It hisses again. I flinch but my eyes stay glued to the mirror. "Just like her!" It yells this time and I quickly looked down at the sink. Please go away, please, please, please. I back up keeping my eyes down until my back hits the wall and I slide down until I'm seated on the tile. I look at my hands, there shaking like they always do. They get me in trouble. I hate them. I hate me.