Love isn't Real

.7.

The days pass in a blur and I've been busy helping the maids clean and Jim cook. It kept my mind off certain things and made me feel like I was helping. I sometimes felt as though I was in the way but Jim reassured me many time. Jim was really nice, he would always have me do the light work like wash dishes but he would always talk while we work. I usually like the quiet but when Jim talks it can be funny sometimes. He would tell stories of when he was younger and it would make me smile. Other times, I sometimes felt jealous that he got a better childhood then I did. I also felt like a freak sometimes too, normal kids go to middle school and high school and sometimes college. I didn't finish middle school and I don't even know what you do in high school. It sometimes made me uncomfortable as well, especially when he talked about his parents. Or well...his dad.

I know Jim doesn't know why I'm here or where I came from or what had happened to me I think anyways. Anthony didn't tell me if he told Jim about it and I hope he didn't. But Jim always rambles on about his father and how he was a good man and always took care of him instead of his and I quote, 'slut of a mother.' Sometimes I would so angry that he had a better dad then me, but know I just get really upset. Like I am now, Jim is talking about his father again while I clean the dishes from lunch.

"He would take us fishing sometimes, out by the lake, me and my sister. She was always so scared to touch the fish she caught" He laughs as he throws away some trash. I clutch the glass cup that I'm holding in my hands so hard I feel like it will break. "But my dad would help her" He mutters. I loosen the grip a little and begin to clean it. I don't want to hear anymore. I don't want to hear about his dad and all the family things they did and that I never did. "Declan?" I turn to the door way when I hear my name be called. Anna, a maid here is standing there carrying a duster in her hands. "Will you help me clean Mr.Blacks bedroom?" She said tilting her head. I quickly rinse off the glass cup and set it to dry. I dry my hands then walk up to her, "yes" I mumble.

Anna leads me up the stairs to a room at the end of the hall and opens it so we both step in. This bedroom was massive! Bigger then the one I was given. With a king sized bed in dark purple sheets and a black blanket. The curtains were open letting the light in. My eyes wander around the room staying at the huge book case that takes up an entire wall. Mostly books were on it but there were one or two very expensive looking vases on it as well.

"You can clean the bathroom while I clean the room" Anna says walking over to the bed. She starts taking the blanket and pillows off. I walk to the closed door and open it. I look up only to be met with abs. I look up more seeing Anthony looking down at me with a stone face. I flush and quickly look away. "Declan? Why are you in my room?" His smooth voice rang in my ears. "A-Anna a-asked me t-t-to help c-clean your room" I stutter out. I glance at him to see that he is only wear a towel that is wrapped loosely around his waist. "Declan? What is the- oh! Mr.Black, I'm sorry I didn't know you were in here" Anna quickly says.

I feel weird. My face feels like it's on fire and my heart is pounding but not like how it is when I'm about to have a panic attack.

"It's alright, carry on I will change in my closet" Anthony says walk past me and out of the bathroom. I turn to Anna who is looking at me with a weird face. "W-What?" I ask confused. She shrugs then hands me a basket full off cleaning supplies. I take it then start cleaning the bathroom.

I was cleaning the last thing I had to clean which was the shower. I look but when I hear the door open, Anthony stopping in front of the sink looking into the mirror. "When I'm done with my meeting today I will take you to Reese's Cafe. I talked with the owner and they said they do need another waiter they just have to talk to you first" He explained looking over at me. I stand up from where I was to look at him. "They won't hurt me, r-right?" I nervously ask. He steps towards me hooking a finger under my chin lifting my head up. "No one will lay another hand on you Declan" He says lowly. His touch is nice on my skin but I should move away, I have to. He could be lying.

I take a step back lower my gaze to the tile I cleaned a few minutes ago. I can't look at him. I turn away and bend back down to the bucket of water I have with cleaner. I know he is still here because a shadow is over me. I grab the rag that was in the bucket, stand up and start cleaning the shower. "I will come find you when I'm done" He says then I hear him walk out.

That feeling from before crept into my stomach when he lifted my chin. I am not sure it is supposed to be a good feeling or a bad feeling. I feel uncomfortable around most men or well all men but Jim has been so nice to me and Anthony. I'm not sure about him, he hasn't touched me in any way other men have. I am grateful for what he has done for me.
-_-
After I finished helping Anna clean Anthony's room I head to my room to take a short nap then I take a shower. I stepped out of the huge shower and grabbed the white fluffy towels wrapping it around my waist. I stop in front of the mirror looking at myself. I haven't in awhile  and I know why. I look away then walk out of the bathroom and into the walk I'm closet. I grab a pair of boxers, a pair of light blue ripped jeans and a light purple sweatshirt. I quickly change making sure I put a pair of socks on. I walk out of the closet and sit on the bed looking down at my hands. They shake but nay as bad as they use to.

A knock on the door startles me, I look over at the door and take a deep breath. I stand up and walk to the door opening it. Anthony stands there. He looks me up and down staring at me for a minute then nods. "Ready?" He asked raising an eyebrow. I nod my head and Anthony begins walking down the hall. I follow close behind, we walk outside and I see a car already waiting for us. Anthony gets in then I climb in after him. I put my seat belt on as the car starts moving.

It was quiet at first but Anthony cleaned his throat and I looking over at him. "Would you like me to stay with you?" He asked. I chew on my bottom lip, I would like for him to stay with me. But I don't want him to do something he doesn't want to do. "Please" I mumble. He lifts up my chin so I am looking directly at him. "Speak up" He says softly. My eyes widen slightly and I gulp. I look down as I pick at my fingers but Anthony hooks his finger under my chin again so I look back at him.

"I'm not mad Declan, just speak up a little so I can hear your beautiful voice" He said looking at me with kind eyes. "Please stay with me" I say my voice a little higher. He smiles and drops his hand, "that's better. We will work on it" Something in me sparks and this weird feeling washes over me. The praise he gave me made me feel like this. It felt...good? Yeah, it felt good knowing I pleased him. I've never felt this feeling before. This feeling or the feeling that happened when I'm the bathroom. I am also so confused by Anthony.