Created by blood

Chapter 11

A shiver set deep into the vampire's bones as he lands on the other side of the docks with a soft, barely audible thud. Tonight it seemed neither man nor mother nature would distract him as the once buzzing dockyard now lay barren before him, void of its usual life and light. How strange, Jonathan hummed; sure, a few weeks had passed since his last visit, but for the area to become so listless in that time was...Well, haunting, as if the silent peace it offered was an omen of things to come.

For even here, on the desolate muck-riddled docks, his ever-wandering mind would not leave him be. No, instead of being allowed to relish in the stillness, his irrational mind eagerly told him that if his pet was in trouble, it would be his fault. After all, it was Jonathan who allowed her to go off on her own; it was he who had allowed himself to be so distracted by his research that the idaea of searching for his pet hadn't crossed his mind. And it was he who had shamelessly indulged sweet Edgar for so long that he had to wait till tonight to begin his search.

If something had happened, there was no one but himself to blame; his irrational subconscious chided as frost-bitten feet dragged him forward. He knew she, like he had risen tonight, but really how reliable was that "ghost bond?" Could he truly trust it? If she had risen, was she okay? Has she fed at all the last five days? Had she gone further against his orders by killing a mortal? No... No, no, of course not. Odessa was smarter than that. She would have kept herself fed, would have stayed out of danger as best one could on these dangerous streets, would have stuck to skals... right?

Of course, she would have; she had already earned his ire once by disobeying. Surely she wouldn't have broken the second rule, on top of making him worry, right? But the worry was... His 'my' fault, wasn't it?

He, 'I' knew how much of a fireball she was, and yet I ... I let her go anyway. The worry that sits deep in my dead heart is of no fault except my own... Yet... His body pauses in front of a warehouse door, hand outreached, distressed fingers flexing as the two parts of himself war internally.

No, that couldn't be the whole truth. As a scientist, a man of rational thinking, he couldn't, wouldn't accept that 'he' was wholly at fault if something had happened. For Jonathan was but one man, after all. One man who had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Honestly, how could he ever expect to look after his pet, find a cure for the flu, all the while protecting Edgar, his hospital, and his patients? Why, only a fool would think me capable of such a feat; Reid's rational irrational mind butted in as he gave the door in front of him a solid tug.

Tisk, his tongue clicked loudly against his teeth as he turned away from the offending barrier. "Locked, of course, it's locked." The vampire cursed, his eyes quickly scanning the small square in which he stood. If not this one, then surely others must be unlocked; the thought was fleeting as he trudged to the other side of the building, mind resuming its deafening struggle.

If only a fool thought him capable of such a feat than, that must mean all, including Odessa and Jonathan himself, were fools. For no one had asked him to take on all the different stressors that currently sat upon his plate. No one had asked him to find a cure for the flu or the skal problem. Edgar and Odessa had not asked for his protection, his... Affection. And yet Reid had happily accepted all that was offered to him with a smile as if the added pressure was nothing more than a strand of spider silk on the wind.

"Maybe I am a fool, but... I couldn't very well call myself a Reid if a little stress got the better of me could I?" Jonathan mused, remembering how men, weaker men handled stress in the trenches. Many with loving wives and children back home, who easily fell into the arms of one another. Chasing but a moment of reprieve when they could no longer face the realities of their own demise. They would whisper thoughtless 'I love yous' and other empty honeyed words never minding the dangers such things posed. Never minding the rumours that would travel through the different companies. No, the only thing that mattered in those few carnal moments spurred on by stress was the false hope it gave birth to.