"Even when a star dies, it gives birth to another one. It's mere existence is life and growth. One day I wish to be as infinite as the stars. To exist forever, if at least in their hearts."
When you left, you were not looking for a savior.
When he...
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After so many visits one would think it gets easier.
But it doesn't.
Swallowing hard before walking in and setting his bouquet down on the table beside her, he tries his hardest to ignore the pain in his heart at the sight of her lifeless body connected by wires and tubes, the only thing keeping her alive a beeping box that sits idly by the side of her bed. As though they were waiting for the chance to decide whether or not she was worthy to stay alive or if she was always meant to go.
Jimin had imagined Jocelynn sleeping beside him many times in the moments he had known her.
He would think of how it would feel to wake up with her next to him, her body cradled in his arms, her face finally at peace in her slumber. Maybe he would wake her with breakfast in bed or perhaps he would cuddle next to her and watch the way her eyelashes fluttered when she dreamed. He would try his best not to move, in an attempt to encapsulate that one perfect moment in his mind, to remember something so tranquil and serene right there by his side. And every time he imagined it, he wondered if at that moment he would feel at home. He wondered if she was his home, and if she was in his arms, he wondered if everything would be okay. He wondered if it would be possible to forget everything even if it was just for just a moment.
But he never imagined this.
"I wanted to get your favorites." He murmurs as he takes out the flowers he had brought in just a few days ago from their former vase, chuckling bitterly to himself. "But I realized I don't know what they are."
As he tosses the dying bouquet in the wastebasket near the door, he stares at the disarray for a moment. The way they are so easily discarded the moment a bit of decay is shown. He wonders if the heart is so easily thrown away. If even one part begins to gray, does that mean there is no hope for redemption? Or are we too far gone to be healed?
"It's ridiculous, but given the way..." His voice breaks as he still realizes they don't have a definitive answer to their relationship. Even after everything, he still cannot tell her what he wants, and now he doesn't even know if she'd be willing to accept. Or if there ever was a chance she would. "Well, I thought I knew more about you. But I suppose I was never given the chance."
Walking back over to the bed, he picks up the new bouquet, fiddling with the arrangement as he places it into the vase if only to give him something to do. Something to help him ignore the growing hole of guilt and dejection that continues to spread throughout his body.
"And because of my foolishness, I may never get that chance again."
This is all your fault.
Jimin freezes at the memory.
The look of anger and hatred in Yen's eyes as she looked at him, the way they masked something much uglier and broken within. Something it seemed as though she had been burying for a long time had finally begun to rise to the surface. The way her words broke him straight to his core, and the way he has been left shattered ever since.
