Heartbeat [Alec Volturi]

Experimentation

It was a soft, gentle kiss, his consternation winning out as he pulled away before I could fully process it. I touched my lips, looking up at him through my eyelashes.

He left me with more patience than his previous retreats from our...escapades. Usually throwing himself across the room to keep a safe distance away. His eyes met mine, all kinds of conflicted as he tried to find the words to explain.

"Let me guess...control?"

He was already looking me up and down, removing his hands as if anywhere he'd touched had immediately turned my skin black and blue. As if he could've done so much damage in only a few short seconds.

"It's okay," I murmured, reaching for his jaw when he wouldn't stop. His eyes filled with longing and conflict. "I'm fine, I swear."

Alec closed his eyes, and I took the time to examine him. The subtle curve of his neck up to his jawline and the smoothness of his skin made me wonder if I could have the same effect on him that the whisper of his breath against my throat had on me. Mindlessly, I traced two fingers over the veins now laced with venom, a sort of shock running through my fingers as he tilted his head to the side.

He groaned under my fingertips, so I retreated before he could open his eyes – as if that made a difference. Alec still leaned in to take over the distance I'd put between us with a natural inclination. I don't think he was even aware of it.

"Sorry," I apologized. I hadn't realized that would bother him. I hardly knew how to get a positive reaction out of him. I considered that maybe his touch did more to me than mine did to his, and the thought made me sad.

His eyes opened and flickered to my neck, making me suspicious. He never did that when he needed to feed, which would have made more sense. Something about the look in his eyes made me wonder –

"Did you give me another hickey?" I hadn't exactly been focusing too well earlier, and any time his lips neared my neck my mind sort of went blank. For reasons unrelated to fear. As they should be. You know, cause, vampire. Alec shook his head. "Oh."

Alec raised a single brow, his arrogance finding the loops of my jeans as if he hadn't just pulled away from me. He really was still a teenage boy. "Does that suddenly upset you, mate?"

My lips parted as I hesitated to answer, and suddenly he had the upper hand again. The first time Felix and Demetri pointed out the gentle bruise on my neck, I'd been astounded and slightly embarrassed. Probably because the pain that should come with it, though minuscule, was invalid for me. It was pure pleasure, with an anticipation of a desire neither of us was pushing to uncover. It was just...nice. But there was something that ignited in my stomach knowing that while our friends may tease us, they knew it was Alec who had left it there. It made me feel connected to him in some odd way.

I didn't need to admit it out loud. Alec let his lips return to my neck, away from my pulse point, where he merely gifted a careful kiss, placing another on my forehead. "Good to know," he murmured huskily. "It is a shame they will not appear on your skin after you've turned. I admit, this is one of many aspects of your humanity that I will miss."

He seemed pleased with himself, but I raised a hand to stop him as I processed. I ignored the butterflies and the hint of a smirk playing on his lips that did nothing but spur on the flutters in my stomach as best I could. "After I'm turned?"

Alec furrowed his brows, "of course."

"Of course," I repeated, rolling my eyes. A fair bit irrational as I said, "because Edward said you'd go feral and make me a midnight snack if you so much as touch me."

"Darling –"

"No, it makes sense. Because when we were in the library there was nothing better to do and on the train we almost died, so, naturally = sucking face. Why didn't I think of that?"

A rumble ran through his chest letting me know he did not appreciate my sarcasm. "I could hurt you."

"Accidentally. A genuine, hand to god, accident. No –" I held up my hand when he went to argue back, shaking my head at both him and myself, "let's stay on track." Neither of us wanted to return there. "You gave me a hickey where you should have bitten me only a few days after we met."

He interrupted to remind me, "I almost killed you. Which is why these activities cannot happen again."

"But you didn't hurt me!"

"This time."

"Ever!"

He whipped around, fixing me with an intimidating glare. I took a breath, watching as he did the same. "All I'm saying is that it's pretty obvious your self-control surpasses the mind reader's." Alec stopped, the message catching his attention and likely, his arrogance.

He crossed his arms over his chest, puffing it out slightly. Yup. Definitely arrogance. Stay on track here babes. Easing in, he remarked, "Thought about this, have you?"

I tilted my head back and forth, making light of the fact that, yes, I had indeed been contemplating the dilemma. But only because it caused him so much distress at the Cullens to see the bruises on me. I never intended to push him for anything. I didn't intend to do so now either. But I didn't know how to help him when the thing keeping me alive was the problem. "Once or twice."

He countered, "Cullen succumbed to his desires, and he nearly lost her forever."

"I know," I tried to reassure him while explaining, "but I think your control means we should handle this differently. Emmett kept making comments about their lack of practice in that area –"

He groaned. "Must we discuss the Cullens' intimate affairs?"

"First of all, ew." I grimaced, and Alec mirrored my sentiment. "Secondly, I was talking about the more...yanno, less adult activities."

"Saffiya, please –" Alec urged, wanting me to get to the point but growing more serious. Meanwhile, I had no idea how to be clearer.

"You can't just kiss a person and then refuse because you're afraid you'll kill them," I declared as if it was the most obvious fact in the world. Alec did a double take, not expecting me to be so blunt. Frankly, I didn't expect it either. "That's just mean because kissing is like, really fun..." I trailed off, feeling incredibly embarrassed about the admission. "Especially with you."

His eyes widened, taking a step towards me before he growled, questioning my word choice, "especially? Who el–"

I rolled my eyes inwardly, taking the final step between us with a shaky breath, and bracing myself with my hands on his chest. I tilted my head up, very nearly brushing his lips with mine. I watched as his eyes fluttered shut, mine following like a choreographed wave. I waited, reaching up to cup his jaw.

Alec didn't exactly argue. His hands landed on the small of my back and encouraged me closer. I could feel his muscles shift as he tried to close the gap, but I denied him the opportunity, leaning back just as equally as if it were a natural choreography.

Alec didn't let me go far. He growled against my lips, "what are you doing?"

I met his conflicted expression, leaning in to briefly connect our lips, tingling shocks covering my skin before I pulled away and murmured, "exposure therapy."

~•~•~•~

A/N: This is a mini-chapter, sort of like a cut scene. I couldn't find the right place to put it, so it's going here as a stand alone but a continuation of the last chapter. I've been dying to get this start to their next steps. Decided I was done waiting ;)

Ro