Some Thing Called Myself (Complete)

LVI: Something Crumbles (Part One)

Ch. 56: Something Crumbles (Part One)

Mara all but kicked the door to her room open. It's okay. You're okay, she told herself, but her heart ignored the words, focusing only on the challenging task of beating faster by the second. With heavy steps, she crossed the distance between the entrance and her pile of books.

She charged through everything in her path, pushing away piles of clothes, accessories, and cans of paint until she found the suitcase Jano had given her. Mara opened it and looked at the place where her knife had been. Beside it, protected by a dark cut of silk, she found the old journal she and her squad had found when they were children. Jano's words at the time came back to her mind,

This journal is magical; it's the best source of information we have on beyond-fleshers and the best way to find out who your true enemy really is. Do you want me to teach you how to use it?

True enemy. Mara's breathing caught in her throat. She was in a damned secret society filled with people who dealt with the supernatural, so she had believed those words. She had thought that piece of shit was really magical.

She leafed through the journal, page by page until she reached the middle of it. Nothing. The only thing on those pages was detailed information about beyond-fleshers and nothing else—which meant that those were the enemies, in Jano's eyes. With a gurgled scream, she started ripping the pages, digging at the journal like a buried corpse fighting for freedom. With every ripped page, chapter, and section, the more certain she was that the only magical thing in that piece of crap was the beyond-flesh hands that held it.

Mara is still as easy to guide as nine years ago. I'll hinder her search as much as I can, and when I can't anymore....

With a frustrated scream, she tossed the journal on the floor and let herself fall to her knees right beside it. Tears filled her eyes, tinged with just a little bit of red. She got up, hands shaking.

Jano had fooled her; he would never fulfill his part of the deal. He never had any intention of helping her find Mom. He had taken advantage of her trust...he had betrayed her.

Mara walked to her dresser and took the red knife from the first drawer. Chest heaving, tears running down her cheeks, she raised her weapon well above her head and then hurled it down to the middle of the journal. The blade dug into the cement as much as it could before shattering, pieces of red blade biting into Mara's palm.

She sobbed, not really wanting to hold back her emotions anymore. Mara's tears mixed with the droplets of her blood and the shards of her blade. Once again, she was back to square one in her search for Mom. This time, though, she discovered that the enemy Jano meant the whole time was people like Mara, Uah, and Falchi.

And she had given him the power to massacre them all.

***

Her eyes had been glazed over for Goddess knew how long; they'd be completely dry if not for the tears now streaming down Mara's cheeks. They pattered the shredded journal pages strewed across the floor, blurring its hand-written lines. Mara was barely breathing, her chest pressing against the cold tiled floor after every breath.

The door to her room opened with a long creak, but Mara didn't bother to move.

Two small feet and the rubber point of a wooden cane entered into view, clipping the light coming from the door at the other side of the bed. Mara tried to blink but her eyelids caught on her eyeballs and stuck. Even if she hadn't recognized those doll shoes, she'd know this was her sister. Mara felt her presence like a warm, fluffy blanket on a cold night.