After Eleven: Liv & Callum

Chapter 10: Callum

A/N: Wow, thank you for such a wonderful response to the chapters so far! I always appreciate the kind and constructive comments. There are emotional scenes and chapters in the pipeline, but this one may not be satisfying for those looking for an immediate blow up.

I'm always interested in characters as individuals, and I believe that people deserve development even when they aren't perfect. Infidelity happens for a myriad of reasons, and these characters are going to go through a lot in the next 10 or so chapters. Rest assured, Olivia will get her moment and Callum will continue to come to terms with the situation that he has created for himself and his family.

Callum

Have you ever stayed underwater for too long? For the first 10 seconds you're fine, and then your brain starts to send alert signals and you begin to panic. If you know what you're doing, you can train your brain to relax, to not panic and to stay calm.

When I was on the swim team in high school, they made us do a lot of breathing drills and taught us techniques for breath holding without panicking. For a while there I could go about 2 minutes without oxygen, and I started to implement those breathing exercises to keep me calm in other aspects of my life.

None of those techniques work for me now, and I've been stuck in those first 10 seconds of panic since I called my wife and told her that I cheated on her. I can't breathe, can't think about anything except for what I've done to my life. Will I have a wife to come home to? I don't want to harass Liv so all I've texted her is that I love her, I'll do anything that she needs me to do, and then I told her when I expect to be home.

Looking at my phone, it's obvious that she doesn't want to text me this morning. Can't blame her because I don't particularly want to know myself either. Instead, I call Jaime and hope that she won't kill me, for waking her up earlier than necessary and for what I have to tell her.

"What?" She's obviously groggy, but I need to get this over with.

"It's Cal. Can you meet me at the cafe downstairs?"

"Cal I really don't think that we need to start working at," the phone rustles as I assume she puts it down to look at the clock, "Jesus Christ! 5:18 in the morning. Even for you that's unnecessary."

"It's not about work Jaime. It's about last night and I need to talk to you."

"I'll be down in 5 minutes." And the line goes dead as she hangs up. Does she have an inkling as to what I'm going to tell her?

This is going to be humiliating, but I need to get it over with. If I did it, I need to be able to tell the people that I respect and accept those consequences. I get down to the lobby cafe first and order mine and Jaime's coffee. I'm staring at the cup, letting the warmth seep into my cold hands, but I can't bring myself to drink. My throat is tight and I'm pretty sure that anything I try to eat today will just come right back up.

"What happened," Jaime asks before she's even sitting.

I need to rip off the Band-Aid, to tell Jaime so that she can be ready for Liv. I know that I can't be my wife's emotional rock through this, but maybe I can give her someone else. Selfishly, I also need to talk to someone. I need someone who knows us, knows our relationship, to tell this to. I take a deep breath before allowing it to come out, knowing that I may be losing one of my oldest friends in the next few seconds.

"I cheated on Liv last night. With Emily. Liv knows and I think that she'll need you when we get back. I have no idea what's going to happen with us but she'll need you and Andrea to be there for her."

Jaime just nods, then looks down at her coffee. She blows on the surface, not looking at me and just digesting what I've told her. My stomach roils while I wait.