TAINTED

Chapter 22

IVY

How I made it through the next few days without telling Blaine what we'd done was beyond me. I knew the right thing to do was be honest with him. The foundation of any successful relationship is honesty. The problem was, this wasn't your usual act of disloyalty. I hadn't just cheated on Blaine. I cheated on him with his hot older brother. My stomach twisted at the thought. What the hell was wrong with me?

Even days later, my lips still prickled from where Rhys's mouth devoured mine. They tingled and burned, and I couldn't shake it away. I even splashed cold water on my face in the morning, but nothing could calm the warmth Rhys caused in my core. My desire for him was all-consuming. I hadn't been able to control it in the past, and clearly, I couldn't control it in the present. I wanted to want Blaine the way I wanted Rhys. Life would be so much easier if I could stop my intense feelings for the wrong Wyatt brother. Nothing made sense to me anymore. I felt like I had no morals or values and would destroy everything if I didn't start making better decisions.

Rhys was still gone from the ranch. I had yet to learn where he was. I hadn't seen him since our night together at Duke Falls.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. It was Blaine.

"Hey, sorry I haven't called in a few days," he said, eerily calm. "I've been dealing with a few things over here and needed to sort some stuff out before we spoke."

"Oh," I replied.

Something was off. Did he know? What had he needed to deal with? Did Rhys tell Blaine what we had done? What could he have to sort out?

"Did you like the package I sent you?" he asked.

"What package?"

"I sent you a package last week. A bottle of champagne, macrons and eclairs from a pâtisserie here in France. There was even a teddy bear wearing a French beret."

"Really?" I asked with interest.

"When you didn't thank me, I called the delivery company to confirm it was delivered. They told me Rhys signed for it. Did you not get it?" Blaine asked.

"No. I didn't."

Several emotions attacked me: rage, annoyance, and then curiosity. Why would Rhys hide that from me?

"Yeah," Blaine replied, snapping me back to our conversation. "That's strange. Is Rhys around? Can you ask him where he put the package?"

"He's not here."

"I'm sure he just forgot to tell you. He probably put it down somewhere and forgot about it." Blaine said. "Make sure you ask him to give it to you once he gets home. Those macarons are to die for."

"I will," I replied.

"That's not the only reason I called, though," Blaine said nervously.

"Oh."

"There's something we need to talk about."

I swallowed hard.

"I know that this long-distance thing hasn't been easy on either of us," Blaine released a steadying breath and continued with a nervous chuckle. "God, I was hoping you'd get my package before we had this conversation. I hoped it would butter you up a little. Even make you a little excited about the possibility of France..."

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

"Things have been going well for me. My research has taken off, and my paper is almost complete. Professor Yurick thinks I'll even get full publication..." He paused for a long time, and I got extremely nervous. What the hell was going on? "Listen, there is no easy way of telling you this," he paused again, and my mind raced with a million and one thoughts. "Before I say anything, I want you to know I want you with me, no matter what."

A lump formed in my throat.

"Come with you where?"

"The Paris School of Business offered to transfer Amy and me to the University of Paris for our entire Junior year. They are going to waive my tuition. Maybe even for our Senior year, too, if things work out."

It took me a second to comprehend what he was telling me. Or, more importantly, asking me. "Wait. You're not coming back?"

"Ivy, did you not hear me? They offered me free tuition. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for us. You can transfer here with me. We can live in Paris, Ivy. Together."

My throat tightened, but I managed to squeak out. "No. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for you. Not us. I can't leave my family. I've never even left the state of Montana."

"What are you saying?" Blaine's voice quavered on the phone. "We can live in Paris for an entire year. The most romantic city in the world. I thought you'd be excited."

"I'm not moving to Paris with you, Blaine."

He didn't respond to that right away. The silence was deafening.

"Ivy, you're not listening to me. I accepted free tuition at the University of Paris. You are being stubborn and uncooperative. You are moving to Paris, France with me. I already secured us a place to live – "

I cut him off, "You already accepted the offer?"

Tears started to well up in my eyes. Rage consumed my every breath. How could he decide this without consulting me first? Because of him, I didn't accept an internship at a local news station in Fredrickton...was this a joke? My heart sank at the thought that my love for him wasn't even enough to want to move for him. Some tiny part of my brain knew I was being unfair to him. He should be able to do whatever he wants, just like I should do whatever I want for my future. Why did it always feel like everything was on Blaine's terms? That I was the sidekick to his amazingly perfect life. Was it because of my guilt? Or was it because the future I once thought I had with Blaine started to seem bleaker by the minute? The second Rhys stepped back into my life; nothing was clear to me anymore.

"I'm sorry. I can't do this," I breathed out. "You were so adamant I did not accept an internship in another city, and I didn't because I let you convince me otherwise. Everything is always about what you want. And now you want me to move to France with you? Because you were offered free tuition? Are you serious?"

"What are you saying?" Blaine asked in a panic, his ragged voice torn with emotion.

"Enjoy Paris Blaine. You've made your choice. I wish you all the best. I'll be staying in Montana. While you frolic in Europe with Amy." I stressed the word Amy which was unfair of me. Amy was the least of our problems when it came to someone putting a wedge between us. I was projecting, and I knew it. It made me furious and frustrated.

"Ivy – "Blaine tried to reason with me, but I snapped.

"No, Blaine. This isn't working. I can't wait around for you anymore. I'm not moving anywhere with you. We're done."

I clicked off from our call and turned off my phone. I refused to call him back. I was so angry and confused. The thought of losing Blaine made me feel sick to my stomach, but part of me also felt like I could breathe again. I was so mixed up that my head started to spin. I slid down onto the floor. Tears started to flow, and then I started to sob.

I cried for what felt like hours before I stood up and walked over to the fridge. My throat was raw from crying, and I needed something to drink. I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand and stopped dead when I spotted a bottle of Rhys's whisky on the counter. I grabbed it, poured myself a glass, and then slammed it. I knew it was a stupid way to cope. I was in no condition to be drinking myself silly.

I figured if Rhys wasn't here, I was safe to sulk in a bottle of booze. I needed a break from my fucked up feelings. I needed a serious break from Blaine. And an even more severe break from Rhys.

I carried the bottle of whiskey with me out onto the porch swing. My whole body shook with raking sobs. I always was so confident Blaine was the right choice. So how could I let myself fall for Rhys Wyatt over and over and over again? My eyes were sore from crying. I thought I knew what I wanted. Turns out, I had no idea.