Kokichi's POV:
Shuichi dropped the bomb last night like it was nothing. My memories are coming back because of him? This can't be good for me or my psyche. I could have serious brain damage. Is this what Monokuma wants? I don't know. I don't know anything right now. The morning announcement should play any minute now and I don't think I've slept for more than five minutes.
Shuichi shifts beside me, his arm still tucked under my head. Poor guy probably lost all blood flow to his arm last night. I barely moved from my huddled and tucked position. I don't know if I should be pissed at him or thankful. I mean I don't know how I'd stay mad if that's what I'm supposed to do. I never thought anything like this could ever happen to me. I just have to mentally protect myself, or... I could strike a deal with Monokuma.
Clearly I was a little bitch before this memory wipe shit. In a killing game, that's not what you want, far from it actually. I need to keep my sanity and protect myself.
"Good morning everyone! It is now 7AM! Time to rise and shine!" Monokuma's announcement is short, sweet, and to the point this morning. Get the fuck up and make some drama. He's talking to Shuichi. He's telling Shuichi to get the fuck up and create some entertainment.
"Good morning, sweetheart," Shuichi kisses my cheek sweetly before putting his second arm around me.
"I'm mad at you," I state simply, ignoring my heated cheeks. It's almost like trying to ignore a boner. My body wants to melt into his right now, but I just can't. I have too many emotions strangling me with barbed wire right now. It's like warfare in the mind-space.
"Aww, I'm sorry, baby," Shuichi coos, his hand moving down the front of me. I, reluctantly, swat his hand away. His hands could be certified explorers at this point with how much he's touched me.
"Shuichi, I'm serious. Why would you subject me to psychological torture if you love me? Why would you make me vulnerable? This is no situation to be vulnerable," I state firmly, rolling out of Shuichi's grasp. Huge mistake.
Shuichi lunges for me, successfully grabbing me by the shirt, he pins me back on the bed and I struggle against his grip, but it's no use. He's too strong. Where the fuck does he put all those muscles.
"Why am I doing this? Because I love you, Kokichi. You are a reflection of what you wanted so desperately to be. You are powerful here, but out there, you were nothing. I saved you from a life time of bullying and abuse. I made you whole again. I want the man I created. Not this weak excuse for a fake," Shuichi strikes a nerve as my heart tumbles to my stomach.
"Fuck you, Shuichi. Get off of me," I hold my ground, teeth clenched. Shuichi glares down at me, noting how serious I am. He doesn't like that. He doesn't like that he's wrong. I'm not weak. I'm not fake. I now know what I can become. I know what my life can hold if I make it work. I am the reflection. I'll bask in it now, but I have to maintain it. I can't lose. Even if it means giving up, Shuichi.
"Let's face it, Kokichi, without me or my protection, you're completely, physically vulnerable-," I cut him off.
"I'd rather be physically vulnerable before I let these people break me mentally. I'd rather die than lose a mental war," I seethe. Shuichi's eyes soften as he starts to stroke my cheek. His touch is so gentle and warm. It's so comforting and addicting. Even his eyes now. They're insane, but still so beautiful. They're almost glowing yellow. Their autumn color can so easily suck anyone in. I relax against his grip, allowing him to trace my cheeks.
"Why are we fighting, love? We both want each other, and we share a bond like no other. We were made for each other. I'm sorry I upset you, my dear. I didn't mean what I said. I love every version of you, even if you don't need me as much as you did before. I just want to be useful to you," Shuichi apologizes sweetly. Every feeling of frustration and anger towards Shuichi dissipates into thin air as if it was never there.
"Apologizes and kisses make everything better, Shushu."
My own voice echoes through my mind. I look to the side, giving into Shuichi. I sit up and nod my head, pecking him on the cheek. I walk to the bathroom and get myself ready for the day. Too much for 7AM and no sleep.
~
Breakfast. My least favorite time of day. I sit down at a table with Miu, crossing my fingers that my hell hound doesn't follow me.
"The fuck's wrong with you today, shrimp dick?" Miu questions as she takes a bite of her egg sandwich.
"I had a fight with Shuichi this morning. I really don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm weak and pathetic," I explain. Miu nods her head before looking over at me.
"I heard it. His room's bugged. Only I heard it, but I do know what's going on. I'm sorry 'bout that, Kokichi. That really seems hard," Miu says, not a hint of sarcasm in earshot.
"Thanks, Miu, but I just worry, y'know? I wanna get out of this alive. I don't wanna die here. Being weak subjects you to that, and I'm getting weak," I quietly admit. Miu shakes her head.
"Kokichi, you're not weak, you're just struggling like the rest of us. It's not weakness, it's called being a teenager. Whether we'd like to admit it or not, we're all still 17 to 18 years old. We're barely adults. We don't deserve this," Miu gives valuable insight for once. I never thought Miu of all people would say something like that. I guess she might have a golden brain.
"I guess you're right, for the most part. I have a theory that we're not 18. I think that we're older than that. I think that we're missing years off our lives. I know it sounds crazy, but how far fetched is it?" I theorize with Miu. She ponders for a second, her eyes full of shock.
"You're on to something, I think that we-," Miu tries to continue the conversation, but Cerberus is right on schedule.
Shuichi taps my shoulder. "May I cut in the conversation?" He asks, his tone sweet... too sweet.
"No, you may not," I reply. Shuichi looks down at me before grabbing my arm, yanking me out of my chair. "Uh, hey! I was having a conversation!"
"Don't care. I let you blow off steam. I apologized, what more can I give you?" Shuichi pleads, his tone irritated.
"Shuichi, I am pissed at you. I won't get over it in 30 minutes. You need anger management before talking to me again," I hold my ground for the second time today. No sleep is really mind-fucking me. It's so draining.
I can't even blink before a gun is pressed to my temple. Shuichi actually pulled a gun on me. My eyes grow wide, but quickly go back to normal. "You wouldn't dare," I challenge. The entire cafeteria is silent as everyone stays still. They all know that Shuichi's trying to make a scene to show his power.
"I am not above shooting you and then myself," Shuichi replies. I look down for a second, fully aware that he's not bluffing. Shuichi would totally kill me and then himself.
"Fine! Let me just continue my weak lies. I'm so happy with you, right now, Shuichi! I was never mad in the first pl-," Shuichi taps the side of my head with the gun, interrupting me. I try not to flinch, but it hurts.
"Don't be smart with me, Kokichi. I said I was sorry. Why the fuck are you doing this?" Shuichi asks, as he traces the gun along the edge of my jawline.
"Doing what? Having human emotion!?" I snap. I'm too tired to even care. My vision is burry, not from tears, but from no sleep.
"Treating me like shit after I apologized! Every time I fucked up, you forgave me! Why is this time any different?" He points the gun at me from afar. I begin to feel weak in the knees as my eyelids grow heavier.
"Because you didn't start psychological warfare with me, you fucking moron! You have destroyed my brain. I am tired! I am done! Fuck you, fuck off, I'm going to bed!" I shout, my drowsiness taking over my words. I knock Shuichi's gun out of the way and storm out of the cafeteria.
"You fucked up, Shuichi," Miu states, her tone flat.
"Shut the fuck up," Shuichi replies, the stress in his voice continuing it's rampage. I stop lingering and walk to my own room before lying down on my bed. It takes 30 seconds before I pass out into my dreams.
~~~
Guys, this is pure impulse. I should not be continuing this, but y'know what, I'm gonna give it a shot. Continue to say your prayers as I do my best. And yes, Unholy Acts is up next. New chapters will be out soon.
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ꕥMemory Motiveꕥ
Fanfiction!ON HIATUS! Monokuma decided it was time for a new motive after Kaede's death. He decided to give one person back their pregame memories. When Shuichi is brought in to get his pregame memories, nobody expected his personality to change so drasticall...
