Here Comes The Sun

Chapter Five

I was hung over and tense. My plan to get laid was an epic failure and instead I feel as if I was cock teased for hours by Archer. Did we even get close to kissing? No. Did I still spend my night imagining what it would be like to be thrown around like a rag doll by him when I got home? Yes. So it's his fault I am groggy and grumpy.
    Who knew stories about youthful idiocy were what got my gears going? Not me, I thought it would have been naked body parts but nooooo it had to be intimate conversation and cute nicknames like a love sick fool. I needed coffee and maybe some ketamine to get through today. My only solace was he wouldn't be over for a couple hours which gave me time to relieve my own stress and probably smoke a shit ton of weed to ignore the nagging voice in my head I was pretending wasn't trying to tell me something I refused to hear.
    It wasn't the most mature or healthy option, ignoring my emotions was something my therapist had been trying to get me to stop doing and I had been doing so great till the very tall, very pretty firefighter. I was only twenty four though, well twenty five next month but still I had time to learn to be better and that time could be at a much later date. My internal struggle was future me's problem because present me could only handle so much.
    I kept myself busy, doing laundry I had been putting off and the dishes Toby and I had a habit of letting pile up. By the time it was nearing two I had done so much I wasn't sure I needed the maid to stop by in a couple days to clean. I had even dusted the shelves in my living room that had taken most of my time up. I eyed the large bookshelf I had, next time I would be reorganizing the books. They were done by color at the moment, something Toby had suggested but I honestly hated looking at how uniformed they were like that.
Looking at the large plastic bin I kept my bathing suits in I was stuck between wearing a one piece or pulling from the bikinis that showed off a lot more of me. I knew I should choose a one piece, it was the responsible choice, it made the most sense, all I was doing was going to teach a firefighter to swim. If anything it was like community service and no one dressed to show off their tits for community service, well someone probably did. That wasn't going to be me though, not today. I was going to dress so modest it would make a nun look scantily dressed.

I shut the door of my jeep and huffed out a sigh, I had not won the argument with my own mind. I had picked up a black one piece that even had short sleeves and had gotten as far as putting it around one ankle, then I remembered that orange triangle bikini I had bought last week and hadn't worn yet. I needed to wear it, get my money's worth. It was an expensive suit and it would take quite a few wears to get there, so better start now instead of later.
I had made it to the gate when I saw him waiting just inside, already shirtless. He was staring up at the clouds, leaning against a post with a small backpack on the ground beside him. He looked so calm, his shoulders relaxed, his hands limp in his pockets, I wanted to take a picture of him.
As if he could sense me approaching him his face lowered and those hazel eyes locked onto me, his peaceful look turning into a smile that made my stomach flutter. This was just a swimming lesson Maisie. Nothing more even if you wanted to jump into his big strong arms and never let go. I kept telling myself things to remind me this was a no go zone.
He was not the guy I used to feel better, he was the guy you fell for. I did not have time for that, all the love I had needed to be focused on Toby and myself. Plus maybe once I got to know him I would discover he had a bunch of horrible habits, maybe he chewed with his mouth open. I could get past a lot of things but not an open mouthed eater, I could barely handle sitting next to someone chewing with their mouth closed. There was something about the sound that twisted a piece of my brain until I felt the need to punch the person in the face or bash my head into a hard object.
I had always had the issue, when I was younger I would eat at the opposite of the dining table with my parents before family dinner ended and I was left by myself for meals. They'd usually join me on special dates like Christmas and my birthday, well my mom would join me while my dad would call with a very not convincing excuse. He didn't want to be stuck next to my mom with nothing to do but actually talk to his wife, apparently it was too much stress.