5 - August

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☆.。.:*

Six Months Later

☆.。.:*

Midnight hasn't been the same in the last six months. Before Abby, I was indifferent. During Abby, I loved midnight. After her, I hated it. Then I met Jasmine and somehow midnight became bearable again – I even liked midnight.

Then she broke my heart. Well, not her, but the situation that made her think we couldn't be together. It's not that she was wrong; to be involved with her any more than I am is to be in danger. But she made that choice for me without even giving me her last name.

It's weird because I had a before Abby, a during Abby and then an after her, which was so bleak and silent. I got used to enjoying the silence. Then Jasmine came into my life, and now nothing before seems comparable to the divine during Jasmine, and now there's just pure longing forever after her.

The clock ticks over to midnight at work as I sit down for the first time in a few hours. These days, midnight is lonely. I've elected mainly night shifts so I can stay busy. A few times, I've even gone to the damn club she was in that night in the hopes she's gone back, but she hasn't. Social media is a burnout; there are way too many Jasmines to scroll through on various social media, but none of the pictures are her.

The police didn't need me in court to testify against that Josh idiot, so I couldn't find her there. When they talked to me, they mentioned when I asked that the case wouldn't be spoken about in the media or anything because of the sensitive nature of the crimes involved, to protect Jasmine. So I won't even find out if he's been taken to trial or prison or what, unless she contacts and finds me, which, seeing as she didn't take my name or number, is probably never going to happen.

One night shift, I was so bored and it was so quiet that I even looked up the name Jasmine in the NHS systems; that was stupid because the computer froze with so many first names. Before I even did it, I knew it was a stupid idea.

I'll never find her, and I need to accept that fact, but somehow, I can't. It's like a magnet is close by, and I'm the opposite pole, being pulled in except there's something in the way, so I keep hitting it, unable to be paired with my other half. There'll always be something missing from my life now.

Until the day she enters my life again, there's nothing I can do... except keep looking at social media and checking for her in photos. Even the photos she mentioned Josh put online of me with her didn't have a name on them. All it said when I checked was that he was looking for the guy with his girlfriend Jasmine – no last name, no nothing. His social media profile was heavily closed up. There was no mention of her on the public part. No comments tagging a Jasmine in them. They've all gone now; I assume something to do with the police.

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