Chapter 03
Cate
I planned everything out in my head after the end of 11th grade.
I ended the first year of senior high school with highest honors and everyone knowing my name. Perhaps that's an overstatement. I ended the first year of senior high school with everyone knowing what I was capable of.
I know I am intelligent, but I also know that I have to work hard. But working hard doesn't always pay off. I realized that in seventh grade.
We were all fresh in the new realm of being an adolescent. We were all trying to be someone when we didn't even know who we were yet. New personalities and ideas were emerging and they all stayed.
Except for me.
I grew up thinking that I don't have to change anything to be liked. But when I saw teachers being nicer to the girls who were more active in class, classmates who flocked among the girls who were more outspoken, and people in general giving the attention to the girl who had her hair fixed, her skin clear, a fit body, and a sweet smile. I realized that being who I was is not the way to go. In some way, I had to mold myself into someone to be worthy.
So, I did what I had to do.
I practiced public speaking alone in my room in front of my teddy bear. I started to watch what I eat and have a proper diet, my mom liked that. I joined my mother when she works out and does yoga, she liked that even more. I asked my mom to go with me to shop for new clothes, makeup, and books to keep the balance. After that, I asked my mom to bring me to her dermatologist. Although I don't have a lot of pimples, just a few right before or during my period, my skin was dull and dry. I read books about confidence and occasionally watched movies to inspire me like Legally Blonde. I even listened to subliminal videos on YouTube.
I think I look fine. Average. But that had to be fixed.
Society only looks at extraordinary women.
Everything had to be fixed.
But it was not just my appearance and my confidence that had to be changed. The same must be done about how I interacted with others.
I'm the kind of person who surrounds myself with very few people. I did not speak to people if I did not have to. I could go a whole day without speaking.
But that had to be changed too.
I figured, I could talk, so I will. But it doesn't have to take a long time. I just need to talk long enough for people to remember my name. I just had to be pleasing long enough for people to know I exist.
I trained to be the better version of myself every day. Suddenly, I was a new person.
I was unrecognizable and for some reason, people saw me.
Now, they all listen to me.
I exist now.
I smiled to myself, it all worked my way.
Until she had to ruin it all for me.
"Hey, Miss President!" A high-pitched voice said after the creaking sound of the door opening disrupted the silence.
"Feliz! Love your hair. Did you color it?"
I secretly glanced at Feliz sitting behind me. She did color her jet-black hair brown.
A smile crept on her face as Lizzy stood behind her grinning. Lizzy's hair was tied into a high ponytail, revealing her gold hoop earrings. I grimaced at the sight.
"Something subtle. I'm gonna go blonde after grad."
"Why not now to keep Sister Anne busy?"
Feliz giggled heartily while Lizzy smirked mischievously at Feliz. Her eyes then wandered elsewhere, meeting mine. She quickly gave me a small wave.
