A Bond for the Ages

Chapter 32

Severus had to admit he was impressed as he examined the wall of fire. He could easily identify weak points—it was still only the beginning of the method change—but it was an impressive start, considering they had only had four Occlumency sessions since they resumed. Noting the weaknesses, he pulled from the boy's mind. He met the green eyes for a moment before they closed, the normal headache rolling through the boy's skull. He gave Potter a minute, watching the boy massage his temples to ease the ache. Eventually the Gryffindor sat up and looked at him, waiting for feedback.

"Have you been having nightmares still?" Severus asked.

Potter sighed. "Yeah, but they're not as bad. Not as many."

Severus nodded in mild approval. "There are still some glaring weaknesses in your barrier and this is where the nightmares will leak through. Also, where the Dark Lord will be able to get in."

"I've tried to fix it, but nothing works," Potter said.

"I imagine these weaknesses will remain while you continue to be stressed and refuse to acknowledge your own weaknesses," Severus said, simply raising an eyebrow in challenge when Potter glared at him.

"Hard not to be stressed given everything going on," Potter said tensely.

"Trust me, I am aware, Potter," Severus said. "You might try speaking to someone about such things. Share the load, as they say."

"Who do you talk to then?" Potter said, surprising Severus with his boldness.

"I have an immortal and a vampire that are quite persistent," Severus said and Potter snorted a laugh.

"What about before them? Before they came back or before you ever knew them?" Potter asked.

Severus said nothing and Potter frowned.

"No one? You're telling me to talk to someone when you never did?"

"It is called being a hypocrite," Severus said dryly. Potter snorted again. "So, anything to share?"

Potter's eyes dropped and he remained stonily silent. Severus sighed quietly, hearing Leif in his head, yelling at him to admit how he felt and step up with the boy in front of him. It had been a hard few days mentally as he reeled from and processed his fight with Leif, turning over the things the other man had said. Each time he'd seen Potter and Malfoy in those days had triggered roiling thoughts and odd emotions in his heart. He felt lost at sea in relation to the boys since being confronted with emotions he hadn't known he'd felt or had been adamantly denying so directly.

He shook his head at himself and refocused on the Gryffindor. They had a lesson to get through.

"Very well," Severus said and Potter raised his head again. "Try to strengthen your wall and I will attempt to break through. If I break through, redirect me as you have before."

Potter nodded and Severus gave him some time to prepare. He didn't know what to do or think about all Leif had said, but he knew he needed to get Potter to talk. He could see the draw everything Potter wasn't saying was having on him and he knew it wouldn't be long before it all broke the boy down. Secrets and pain could only be held so long before they caused a breakdown of some kind. His chest clenched as he remembered his own breakdowns over the years, though, at no point did he ever have anyone to witness or help except after Lily's death.

"I think I'm ready, sir."

For the second time, he pulled back from his thoughts and refocused on the boy. He gave a single nod and raised his wand, meeting the green eyes that were so much like her but not like her at the same time.