"Austin" Carrie's accent rings through my ears. She comes up behind me and wraps her arms around my chest, kissing my cheek.
"Hi" I mumble.
"What's wrong?" She asks, moving around to stand in front of me. She places her hands on my arms "Are you okay?" She asks, and I nod.
"Just have a lot of homework to do" I shrug, and she sighs.
"Well, I'll let you be then" She smiles, kissing my cheek "I'll call you later, okay?" She says as she walks towards the door of my dorm room. She watches me nod, and nods in return, leaving my dorm room.
After she leaves, I fall onto my bed with a huff, Alex's words flooding my head. He had called me last night, only to scream at me about how shitty it is to not tell Parker I was leaving for Ireland. But what he didn't get, and what he didn't believe me on, was that I did it to give Parker what she needed.
She deserves someone who's going to give her everything she needs, and I know she won't be able to do that if she's still thinking about me.
But from the what it seems from Alex, is even after all this time, she's still thinking about me.
There are times I think about calling her. There are times I think about flying back just to see her. But there are also times I think about blocking her phone number, there are times I think about deleting any type of contact I could have with her.
But I know deep down I can't do either. Contacting her would give her false hope, and I don't want her to believe we have a chance, when what we had is over, and blocking her would make my mind race of what if she needed me, and she can't reach me because I blocked her.
So, ignoring her is good enough for me.
I huff and cover my face with my hands, a sigh leaving my mouth.
To say I don't miss her would be a lie, but it doesn't necessarily mean anything. It only makes sense that I would miss her, she was a big part of my life for nearly 4 years.
I get out of bed, and leave my dorm room, throwing my hood on my head.
I walk along the sidewalk, my hands in my pockets.
"I thought you were doing homework?" I hear Carrie say, standing in front of me.
"I needed to take a walk" I shrug.
"Why didn't you call me?"
"Because I didn't need you to hold my hand while I crossed the street" I roll my eyes.
"But you still could've called me if you wanted to talk?"
"I didn't want to talk, I needed to take a walk, I needed to be alone, and the one thing I didn't need was your help" I huff, the biggest thing that bothers me about Carrie, is that she cares too much, and wants to be involved in every little thing I do, and it annoys the hell out of me.
"Well I'm sorry I care about you"
"Yeah, well stop. It's borderline obsessive and I can't take it" I walk away from her.
Parker never did this to me, she let me do what I wanted and let me come to her. She knew that if I truly needed it, she'd be the first one I called.
I hate feeling suffocated.
And that's the only way Carrie makes me feel sometimes.
I walk back to my dorm, and flop down onto my bed. I pull out my phone, and unlock it, opening my photos. I scroll through them, and stop on one particular photo of me and Parker. It's incredibly old, and it brings a small smile to my face as I remember us in high school.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
It was during a time when her parents went away on vacation. She had stayed over my house for the week.
To say it was the best week of my life would be an understatement. It was just us doing whatever the hell we wanted with no worries in the world.
I close out of my photos with a sigh, and open my messages, finding Alex.
I call him, and he answers after a few seconds "I'm still pissed at you"
"Do you think she'd want to talk to me?" I ask.
"Who?"
"Parker" I mumble.
"Why?"
"Because I want to talk to her, and I want to know if she'd want to talk to me" I sigh.
"If you're going to talk to her, just do it. But don't play around" He says before hanging up the phone.
I huff and hover my fingers of the numbers on my phone, before locking it "Maybe next time"
