Gone and Mute

Chapter 6

Allura took over training with the other Paladins as well, since Lance no longer really needed to. They decided it would be best, since Coran said excess breathing might prove to be painful for him. So instead, Lance watched. He watched them train together like a well oiled machine, each soldier playing their part in the dynamic. He watched them laugh at the banter they threw each other, and how they seemed to function so much better without Lance.

    He tried to push down this mass of negative feelings welling in his chest. It was just a temporary solution to a temporary problem, he told himself. It would pass.

It wasn't long before the solution proved to be effective, when an allied planet fell siege to a Galra fleet. The five flew out in the lions, and Lance stood in the bridge with Coran, watching them go towards the planet bright with flames. For once, he'd been on time. The one time it didn't matter- the one time no one would tell him 'good job' for doing something right- he did it.

He folded his arms, watching Coran work on the dashboard. Shiro barked orders over the comms, and the others followed seamlessly. Lance watched in hurt amazement and wondering how many things would've gone wrong so far because of him.

Shouts of alarm came from Hunk and Pidge as a massive ship wormholed to the battle and cast a shadow over the planet, blocking it from view of the castle. Despite the physical barrier, the cameras were still activated and Coran and Lance could do little but watch.

"Everyone! We can't take that down individually!" Shiro called. There was a lurch in Lance's stomach. "Form Voltron!"

It was seamless. Like everything they did. The transformation almost seemed quicker to Lance, but maybe that was just because he was dazed. The ship was in pieces in a mere blink, causing the Galra to retreat. The shouts of triumph hurt Lance's ears as he stared at the screens numbly.

He felt... empty.

"Woo!" Hunk cried. "Man that felt good."

"Yes, it certainly did," Allura said as they disbanded, the lions flying apart before returning to a line as they flew towards the castle.

"I almost think it went better without Lance," Pidge said.

A stab of pain pierced Lance's heart, and he was sure this was what it felt like to die. He knew it was an offhanded comment, and he was sure someone would defend him, but it hurt like hell.

"Pidge, don't you think that's a bit much?" Hunk asked hesitantly. The comms were quiet.

"No, I think Pidge is right. Lance is much more of a liability that Allura is. And she may be rusty, but she's a much better fighter," Shiro said, from a statistical leader point of view.

Lance felt sick. His eyes hurt.

"Well I guess that's true, but there's always room for improvement," Hunk protested.

Keith was silent. Lance couldn't take it. He spun around on his heel so fast he stumbled to the side in an attempt to escape, to run from what they were saying. It felt like a personal attack. He couldn't even pretend to brush it off. The pain was overwhelming, and numbing.

"Lance, wait!" Coran cried, but the doors were closed before Lance could turn around to tell him to screw off. He ran as far and as fast as he could from everything, and everyone, and found himself at his room, shutting the door, turning out the lights and sliding down the wall, finally letting himself cry. The sobs raked at his damaged throat and everything came out as a wheezy half breath. He pulled his knees to his chest and cried almost silently, gasping for air and hurting.

He felt miserable. He didn't think his self esteem could've gotten any lower, but he was wrong.

As always.

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Short chapter. My bad.