Agent Rogue: Renegade

Chapter 23

For almost a fortnight I had been back and forth between the hospital and the agency. I would leave the apartment after no more than four hours sleep, train with Davis for two hours, take a short break, train for an hour alone and another hour with Davis, before taking a shower and making my own way to the hospital. I would sit in silence for so long, watching for any indication that he was going to get better. He was slipping though my fingers, life turning to ash in my grasp as I fought to hold him back.

Then, after weeks of silence, I spoke to him. "Derek," I said. My voice cracked, barely able to hold itself together. "I..."

There was no movement from him. He remained on his back, almost lifeless as his chest rose a fraction then dropped back down. I did this to him. My family ruined him.

"I'm sorry," I finally said. "You didn't deserve this. You didn't deserve any of it." His lips twitched but no sound came out. "When you first came into my life, I pushed you away. I feared that, if I was happy for even a moment, Marcus would take it away. So... I need you to come back. I need you back because he can't win. We can't give him that satisfaction. You need to come back because, without you, I don't think we can stop him.

"And I..." I held my breath. "I don't think I can do anything if you stop breathing. Just hearing your laugh makes me forget how shit the world is lately. It makes me think that, no matter how bad things get, I've still got that. That laugh, that smile. Just you being there makes everything better because I--" I stopped myself, choking on my words.

 I almost couldn't get them out. Every instinct told me it was dangerous to say them, that Marcus would somehow hear and send Rose or Kane to the hospital to finish the job, but once I let them slip from my tongue, they fell from my lips so naturally as breathing. "I love you. I love you so damn much. Please, if you do anything, just come back. Come back to me."

I leaned forward, resting my head against the edge of the bed and wrapping my hands around his. He felt warmer and, although it was stupid, I tried my best to will him back to me, silently begging as I struggled not to break down again.

His fingers curled around mine and I straightened up. 

His eyes had opened slightly and a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "It... took you long enough."

I gasped and threw myself at him. He winced as he hugged me tightly and I pushed myself away. "Sorry! But you're--! Oh my god, I thought I wouldn't see you again."

His smiled widened and he held out an arm for me to lean into. I wrapped my arms around his chest and held on as though I would never let go. "I only had to almost die for you to say that."

I forced a laugh. "I meant them."

He almost grinned. "I know. I love you too."

His hand rested on the back of my neck as he pulled me close, pressing his lips to mine for a short, sweet moment. "But I have to know. Jade... is she...?"

"She's alive," I assured. "But her and Gabby have been apprehended by..." I took a deep breath.

"Marcus?"

I nodded slowly.

He hand held onto mine. "I'm sorry. I said I would keep you away from him but when Jade went missing I never stopped to think."