Broken ✔

Chapter Seventeen

Song: Gringo - Shatta Wale

They say shock could kill people. If it was so, why wasn't I dead already? For most of the ride, I hadn't come to terms with what had happened.

I guess some part of my mind refused to believe that I was kidnapped from the palace and that I was being shipped – or should I say driven – to some unknown location with some unknown people.

Perhaps the unceremonious push into realisation was brought about the dream. Nightmare, to be precise.

I'd been in a garden, clothed in white. The environment was ethereally artificial, so even in that subconscious state, I knew I was dreaming. I was having my very first lucid dream.

I didn't know what to do there, so I just sat still, waiting for whatever was going to unfold.

I closed my dream eyes and imagined something, but my mind drew up blank. All I could see was the blackness that you should see when you close your eyes.

When my eyes were opened again, everything was black, just like my mind. It was a void, empty. I got to my feet and shouted. I heard echoes, bouncing around with no direction.

"Hello!" I yelled. I didn't expect any response, and I loved the echoes. I smiled, feeling at home in the dark loneliness.

I wondered what kind of sane human would ever feel at home surrounded by nothing and no one.

Then, I realised that when I was surrounded by nothing and no one, I didn't feel any anxiety. I didn't feel the pressure to make them like me, like I had always felt when surrounded by other people.

Sometimes, I'd made people like me without trying, but then those were people whose approval I didn't really need.

I laughed, I laughed till there were tears streaming down my cheeks. There was nothing particularly funny, but I felt like I could do anything and everything, now that there was no one around to judge me.

For once I felt free, free from the world. If this was hell, then hell wasn't so bad after all.

It took time, for the despair and loneliness to set in. There must be a reason why we always seek out human companionship even if all they do is to hurt us.

There was no one to talk to and this time, my 'hellos' sought responses. I began running, heading straight, I needed to see and or speak with someone.

The loneliness clutched at my chest and snatched all the air from my lungs. I felt a tightening in my chest, like my organs were squeezing and twisting. "Hello!" I called out frantically again.

I tripped over something invisible and fell over, hitting the ground hard. I wasn't able to use my palms to break my fall, so my nose took the brunt force.

I heard something snap, then I felt pain I had never experienced before. I felt the warm trickle as it made its way down my face, and the drip, drip, drip as the drops fell to the floor.

The air was overrun by the pungent, metallic smell of blood. I touched my finger to my nose. It still felt normal, but the pain was a different story.

I realised too late that I was no longer in control of my dream, someone else had taken hold of the reins. I should've stayed in the garden.

Still, I felt suffocated by the sheer loneliness of the place. My chest was still as tight as ever. I groaned, and felt the phantom pain snake up my spine and crawl its way throughout my body. I closed my eyes and tried again, trying to envision someone and again, my mind came up blank.

With a horrified gasp, I realised that I didn't know anyone. No one came to mind. I was completely devoid of memories.

I tried again realising that I had no memories at all. What was my name? How old was I? Was I male or female? I finally understood what the void was all about.