Chapter XVII

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It feels like a week passed when it's really only been a day. Time seems to be angry at me, therefore, it passes slowly for me. My eyes stay glued to the clock during school and out my window at home. Zeuxis noticed something was up with me, but he didn't notice the shadows hiding in the woods.

I was walking downstairs when I first saw one. He was hovering around the rough edges of the woods, leaning against a tree. His wings look like hands above him, his blue eyes glaring into the house at me. He looked like Jeremiah, but I knew it was a clone of his. It scared the hell out of me and I dropped the water I was getting. Of course, as soon as he noticed I noticed, he didn't move. He just watched me.

I see them more now. I'll see them in the shadows at school, the sky when I'm in my car. The angels never leave me alone. I really am quite shocked that Zeuxis hasn't noticed them when they seem to be all I ever see.

My heart is howling most of the time, but I figure once my mind is clean, it won't cry every time I think of Grim's black eyes. I miss him. I miss his little touches, his tentative smile. I miss everything about him, even the intimidating aura always wrapped around him. Zeuxis does a good job of distracting me from my broken heart and Grim has done a good job of staying away from me. I wish he would visit me one last time. I at least want to feel his arms wrapped around me once more.

The only way the world will end is if he sleeps with me. I thought about us being together without sex but figured it still wouldn't work. Compared to our last makeout session, the very first one, he had his shirt off and his fingers were traveling dangerously close to my hips, sleeping together is basically inevitable. He cannot expect my hormones to allow me to not kiss him.

Not to mention I'm not an immortal so...we are doomed. There is not a Grim and I. All there is is the dream of it.

Aunt Janice has noticed my distance. She constantly asks me if something happened and asks me to hang out with her. I thought I was hiding it well, but even Ravenna noticed and asked me what the problem was. I had no idea what to say to them so I just lied and said Caleb and I broke up. Which technically wasn't a lie...but it's not the break up I was mourning over.

"Hey," Zeuxis says as he suddenly shows up in my room. I wave at him half-heartedly, my gaze locked outside my window. The light snow makes me want to cuddle up in my blankets and never roll out. "What's wrong?" Zeuxis comes over to sit by my feet. I look down at my fluffy socks before shrugging.

"Nothing."

I feel bad that Zeuxis will be wiped from my mind as well. Beans won't be, but Zeuxis will. At least I hope. I have no idea how Thaddeus will clean my mind. Will he take the memories of Grim, Azrael, and Zeuxis? Or just Grim? I hope he takes them all. I would like to go back to being a normal human. All the crazy facts of life makes my brain go wild. The fact that we, humans,  don't die naturally but we rather show up on a list and Grim has no choice but to kill us is enough to send my brain into a panic attack.

My parents...

I shake my head to loose that thought and place my forehead on my knees. "Something is definitely wrong," a familiar voice makes my head whip up. My eyes widen as I see Azrael leaning against my wall, his green eyes narrowed on me. What makes me gasp is the fact he is in his true form, the sugar-haired boy.

"Azrael!" I shout in happiness and slide off my window alcove to run over to him. His warm arms wrap around my back instantly and he chuckles in my ear. I warm up instantly against his skin and bury my face in his neck. It feels good to hug Azrael, especially as a boy. He's been a good friend. I'll definitely miss him somehow. He's never lied to me and he's always been there to protect me. Azrael quickly became my best friend even though he was a snake through most of our time knowing each other. "Grim he...he's letting you be this?" I gesture to him as I pull away, but I don't take my right hand off of his shoulder. Azrael nods slowly.

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