HIS BEAUTIFUL SECRET (completed)

CHAPTER 17 - MIND BLOWN

Jake stared at the photo, dazed and confused. After a few moments, he finally spoke, "Where did you get that?"

Ross looked at him hesitantly. You could tell he was weighing his options, trying to make the right decision. His face wore the tension that was hiding behind his eyes. His reply shook Jake to his core, "From your mother." Jake looked at him, trying to reconcile exactly what he had heard.

"So, you and my mother have been in contact this whole time?" I could see the pain of betrayal all over his face.

Ross let out a long sigh. You could tell he wasn't certain that he had made the right decision. "We are not in constant contact, Jake," he finally said.

Jake pushed him further, not willing to let it go without an explanation. "What are you then?"

Ross stared directly at him, wringing his hands incessantly. He knew what he was about to stay would change everything. "Jake, leaving you was the worst mistake of my life, I figured it out too late. I tried to live my life without you, but thoughts of you haunted me every single day. When I finally got my priorities straight, I reached out to your mom. It was then that I learned how Scott was taking care of both of you. He was so successful and giving you an amazing life. He had been the father to you I should have been and I couldn't ruin that. I made a selfish mistake once that changed the course of your life, I would not make a second one."

Jake's hand squeezed mine under the table and I watched as his muscle tensed in his jaw. "So, you both have lied to me my entire life? Do you know how screwed up that is? I spent my life thinking I wasn't good enough and all the while you were hiding right in front of my face." He spoke firmly, but I could hear the pain in his voice.

Jake's words took Ross by surprise. I am sure he was expecting it on some level, but the shock of hearing it from his son's mouth seemed to be more than he could take. Ross fought back tears but lost the battle when one escaped. When he finally spoke his voice was shaking and unsteady.

"Jake, I didn't want to ruin your life, and neither did she. I agreed to stay away, and she agreed to give me updates and photos of you so I could still watch you grow. We did what we thought was best for you, son."

That last word hung in the air like an anchor. I stared at Jake's face, trying to read his expression. Before I could ponder it any further, Jake stood up, pulling my hand with him.

"That's the problem isn't it Ross, everyone was so busy doing what they thought was best for me. Nobody stopped to ask me what was best." With those words, he walked away from the table, pulling me behind him.

I could hear Ross in the background as we approached the door, "Jake, son, please ....."

Jake did not slow the intensity of his pace until we reached the car. He had to put some distance between us and the restaurant. He drove back to the hotel, walking to our room without a single word. I didn't dare speak either, trying to give him the time he needed to process everything that happened.

Once we were in the room, he took his seat on the side of the bed. He placed his elbows on his knees and cradled his face in his hands. He sighed a heavy sigh, and the sound made my heart ache. I knew it was the sound of his heart shattering into a thousand pieces. I sat beside him, waiting until he spoke. The only noise was his phone buzzing from his pocket.

"They took it all away from me Sky, the chance to have a real father," he said with his face still in his hands. Not knowing what else to do, I pulled his hands away from his face and climbed into his lap so I was facing him. Taking his place, I held his face in my hands, speaking to him as softly as I could.

"Jake, they both made sacrifices because they loved you so much. Your happiness was more important than their own. Your mom kept secrets from your dad and you. That must have killed her. Ross drove himself insane every day wishing he could be with you. No matter how backward their methods may have been, they did it out of love. They both love you."