Death is My BFFLAD Rewritten (Book 2 of the Rewritten Death Chronicles)

Chapter 44: Coldness

*Exits a foggy enchanted forest with a menacing cloak on. Drops hood and raises hands with a wrist brace for carpel tunnel on her right* THOU CREATOR IS BACK... WITH A SCRUMPTIOUS TREAT!

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            After the horror show of rinsing the blood off my skin under the hot spray of the shower, I used the last set of mini hotel bottles of vanilla scented shampoo and conditioner to clean my hair and washed the rest of my body. My nerves were getting worse and worse the closer I came to exiting that bathroom.

Wrapping myself up in a fluffy towel, I exited the shower and cocked one foot up on the lip of the toilet to go to town on my hairy legs. Probably should have kept shaving instead of just wearing pants all the time. I must have emptied the clogged razor like fifteen times.

Dropping the towel, I finally looked down there and held the sides of my head. The ultimate question was upon us: To cue ball, or to trim? Weren't old farts like Death into a little hair down there? I mean, how the hell would I get into those crevasses anyhow? I really hoped I'd cleaned up enough down there...

"Ugh." This was ridiculous. Like we were going to even do anything that night! I couldn't even picture...ok, maybe I could picture it, but in reality? I'd never even been naked in front of someone else. How quickly I forgot Death's confusing intentions with me too. He'd wanted to "get me out of his system" like a prehistoric fuckboy with major fixation issues.

Feeling frustrated and overthinking every possible aspect regarding Death, I pumped a few puffs of shaving cream with a light tropical scent into my palm. Maybe I'd just do a little bit on the sides and see what it looked like...

There was a single hard pound on the door.

"What's taking so long?" The deep, velvety voice paralyzed me and I dropped the razor. "It's been an hour. Did you drown?"

"I'm just––um––"

"I smell shaving cream."

My eyes bulged as I glanced at myself in the mirror. "You can smell that?"

What, his freaking nose under the door like a dog?

I checked, just in case. Coast was clear.

"Listen, don't go crazy with the hair removing shit girls do," he muffled from the other side of the door. "I honestly don't care what it looks like."

How dare he assume he was going to see my vagina?! Even though I was prepping for and worrying about the potential moment nonstop!

"Could you give me some privacy?" I slapped my palm against the door. "I'm shaving my armpits!"

Death didn't say any more annoying commentary from the other side of the door, so I figured he'd left. I sighed, feeling a little bit of stress lift off my shoulders as I put the razor away and found a pair of small scissors from the medicine cabinet.

After skeptically checking if the coast was clear in my bedroom, I quickly yanked open drawers and slipped on a pair of underwear and pajama shorts. Smiling, I discovered an oversized shirt I'd gotten at the zoo with my mom and dad with a toucan on it. I pulled it over my head.

When I entered the living room, Death was nowhere to be seen. Narrowing my eyes, I spun around with a "HA!" but alas, he wasn't plotting popping out of nowhere this time.