Chapter 9: Bulletproof love

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I sat there for a long time, not sure what I was even doing. My mind wiped blank of everything, like it wanted to separate itself from everything, just until Gage, his dad, and a very angry principle appeared in front of me. I didn't look up from the ground. 

"Levi, it's alright now. Mr. Wiggins isn't going to punish you or Gage. I handled it." I look up in surprise, seeing a steaming Wiggins standing next to a worried looking Gage. Wait, how did Gage's dad 'handle' it? I wonder. Mr. Zachary seemed to notice my expression, and shot a glare towards the principle. 

"I had words with your principle here for speaking to my son in such a vulgar way. He's lucky I don't inform the school board, as long as he let's this one go. You don't have to tell me why you two ran off, just don't let it happen again okay?," I nod, and he leans in to whisper in my ear. "Or at least don't get caught." He moves back and winks subtly, and right there I decide Gage's dad is cool.

He pats Gage on the shoulder before walking off with the principle, presumably threatening him some more. Ha. 

Then, as I expected, Gage comes and kneels next to me. I turn my head away, still aching with the fresh memory of his harsh words, however irrational or random the time and place was. I don't know how i'm supposed to fix this.

How am I supposed to heal, when the slightest things seem to be re-opening the wounds I try so hard to close? And some things, not so slight. Like my rampaging father, or the wreckage I go home to every day. What do I do about that? 

"What did Wiggins say to you?" I hastily ask Gage, to keep my mind from wandering to even more depressing places. I look at him when he doesn't reply and he blinks, blushing a bit. What's with that? Random blushing. Weirdo. 

He clears his throat before replying. "Just the usual, you know. How he always talks, just this time my dad heard it. Boy did he get mad. I almost started clapping when my dad slapped him."

"He what? That's crazy!" He nods, eyes wide.

"I know right? It was amazing, you should have seen it. Why did you run off anyway, Levi?" He says, trying to make it sound casual but anyone could hear the underlying awkwardness in his voice.

"I-I really don't know. It just, suddenly overwhelmed me, all of it. What you said that day, it just came rushing back to me, and for the life of me I can't figure out why right then it came back." I say, and he flinches. 

"I'm so sorry, Levi. You can't know how guilty I feel every time I think about it. Please Levi, I know this is selfish of me, but if you still love me at all, can you find it in you to forgive me?" He says, taking one of my hands in both of his.

I look in his eyes, and realise with a start that I never lost my love for him, not at all. I still loved him just as much, if not warily.

I can''t let him off so easily though. No. He shall suffer the consequences! Okay...that doesn't sound right at all. He is being quite selfish though. 

I feel tingles in the hand he holds, and bite my lip. Right about now, I would probably have hugged him for holding my hand. Sighing, I clutch his hand tighter, enjoying it while it lasts.  What? I'm not completely insane. Take it where you got it.

"Okay, I do still love you, Gage. But I can't let you back in so easily." 

"But haven't you heard that love is stronger? Doesn't love conquer? Please Levi, I need you back in my life." My hands start to shake again, and I remove the one from his hand and clutch them together. Suddenly, one of my favorite songs comes to mind, and I force back tears.

"My love for you was bulletproof but you're the one who shot, me." I sing quietly, quoting Pierce the Veil to answer him. He blinks, recognising the song. 

"I know, Levi. I just...I need one more chance. Please, give me one chance to bring the old you back and make things right between us again." I shake my head furiously, standing up and brushing myself off.

"That's the thing, Gage! The old me doesn't exist! Can't you see that? I don't want you to get the old me back." I shout, hands still shaking. Why won't they stop shaking? 

"I don't buy that. I am still going to try, but believe what you want Levi. Even if you don't think the old you exists, can you at least try to make an effort to heal our relationship?" He pleads and I snort, rolling my eyes, suddenly irritated. Bi-Polar much, Levi? 

"What relationship? All I remember it being is unrequited puppy love, and a lot of follow the leader." I grumble, and he looks down in shame. Good. I shame you. 

"It always seemed that way, didn't it?"

"That's all it was!"

"Let me finish! Yeesh. Like I said earlier, I really do like you. A lot. I need time, though. I'm not used to this."

"How much time can you need? You had four years! AND, you had my, 'old self', which you seem to now cherish so much!"

"Ugh! You are so difficult!" At this, I shove past him, walking back towards the school. I really don't need this right now. Not to mention my damn hands won't stop shaking! I smack my thighs  in an attempt to stop them, but they don't.

Growling curse words, I shove open the doors and ignore the stares as I go to my locker. When I get there, I attempt to put in my combo but the shaking prevents it. 

"UGH!" I slam a trembling fist against my locker, and suddenly Emmet is beside me, entering my combination for me. I look over at him strangely, but he opens my locker without a word, and faces me, smiling quickly before walking off.

Ginger freak, I swear. But, nice ginger freak. I get my books and put them in my backpack, about to shut my locker when i'm slammed from behind, hitting my head on the edge.

"Holy hell!" I whisper, clutching my forehead. The hall is silent, and I look behind me expecting Madeline or something, but instead seeing the back of the Principle as he walks away from me. No way. I look around me at the rest of the students, and they nod, knowing what i'm thinking. Did Principle Wiggins really just assault a student?

Even a very dusty Darby Kale is standing there looking shocked. Rubbing my head, I shut my locker and walk away, wanting to get this day over with. I'll cross that bridge with Wiggins when I come to it.

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When I got home, I went straight to my room. I dropped my bag and sighed, bringing my still shaky hands to my face. What is wrong with me? 

Abruptly my door slams open, and my dad is standing there angry as always.

"When did you get home!? Why didn't you come say hi? Do you think I don't deserve it? Huh? You think i'm beneath you?!  You are not better than me! I am your father, I am above you! You will do what I say, when I say it! You understand?!" I nod quickly, and he leaves, slamming the door behind him and making me jump.

That was only to be expected, though. I should have known better than that. Slowly walking over to my bed, I sit down and let the tears drip down onto my violently shaking hands, worse after that little spectacle.

I start humming Bulletproof Love by Pierce the Veil, the lyrics fitting my situation somewhat eerily. For Gage mostly, but then even a little bit for my dad. 

"My love for you was bulletproof but you're the one who shot, me." I sing that one line again, and fall back on my bed tiredly. I guess I just have to cope with things the way they are. Even though I'm not bulletproof anymore. I hope that no one else has a gun aimed at me, because i'll surely die. 

----------Poetic, huh? Comment Comment Comment! <3 And check out that song, it's for real :D----------

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