Please Don't Go

FOUR

"first jumper, Last jumper, in the ring."

I cease my movements at the punching bag and hesitantly make my way over to the large white mat. As I step up onto the blood-stained mat a freckle faced boy about twice my size does the same. We remain motionless until Eric announces that we will be fighting. Tobias does not look to happy about the fact that I will be fighting this dude. Sighing in displeasure, I put my arms up like Tris demonstrated to us yesterday. The boy mimics my position and we begin to circle one another, like predators circling their prey. I have no idea what to do so I am not prepared when a punch comes barreling towards my face. My reflexes cause me to react and I throw my right arm up to protect my face, effectively blocking him. I take that opportunity to use my left hand to test out throwing a punch and I manage to land one to the right side of his jaw. He stumbles back rubbing his chin as his eyes turn to rage at the laughter coming from his friends. He lunges at me. I immediately duck to my right dodging his attack and watch as he lands face first on the ground. With my left foot I pursue a kick to his back, but swiftly rolls over and latches onto my foot yanking it out from underneath of me. I hit the ground with a thud and scream out in pain as I feel warm blood begin to seep through my shirt. The pain is so excoriating that it is causes me to struggle to breath.

Scanning the room my eyes locate and lock on to Tobias and I give him a look that says the fight needs to stop I cannot continue. Tobias tries to come forward to help me, but Eric halts him in his tracks motioning for the dude to finish me off. He raises his foot up ready to knock me out, but it never comes down. Through blurry vision I see that Tris has torn him away from me while Tobias and Eric are too consumed in an argument. Once the boy is subdued Tris makes her way over to me and assists me in getting to my feet. As soon as I am up gasps and murmurs fill the room at the sight of the now bloody mat. I shake my head at Tris's questioning glance as a way of telling her I will explain later. She carefully helps me out of the training room and down the hall past the infirmary. She escorts me up a set of steep and narrow stairs, to a hallway of what looks like apartments. When we reach a door labeled forty-six, she retrieves a key from her pocket.

Inside the room I see a small black sofa facing a rather large flat screen tv that is mounted on the wall above a rustic looking fireplace. To the left of the couch is a door leading to what I presume is the bathroom and behind the couch, positioned snuggly under the enormous window is a rather disheveled queen-sized bed housing a simple grey comforter. I do not get a glimpse of the other side of the apartment, as tris forces me down onto the bed.

"I need to see your back." She instructs.

"You have to promise you will not tell Tobias." I plead with her.

"I cannot do that. You know as well as I do that, he is going to come barging through that door at any moment. He is worried about you and the fact that you took one hard fall and your back is bleeding is only going to make him worry more." She responds retrieving the first aid kit from the bathroom.


"I really don't want him seeing how bad my back is." I huff.

"Tatum, maybe letting Tobias see just how bad Marcus hurt you will make him understand where you're coming from with your feelings towards him." She says kneeling down in front of me forcing me to look her in the eyes.

groaning I seize the hem of my shirt and begin to pull upwards. I halt at the agonizing pain the simple movement causes. Seeing my struggle Tris grabs a pair of scissors and gently cuts the blood-soaked fabric pulling it away from my skin. Blood starts to drip onto the sheets and Tris quickly moves to gently apply pressure to the bleeding markings. I bite my lip at the uncomfortable sensation as the door flies open and Tobias walks in. his eyes instantaneously land on my back and he rushes over to help Tris tend to my wounds.

"Tay, when did he do this?" he asks as sadness and anger radiates from him.

"The morning of my aptitude test. He did it right after he pulled me out of the closet, I was forced to sleep in." I reply far too exhausted to fight with Tobias.

"God, I am so sorry. I should have been there."

All I do is grunt in return as I try to keep my tears at bay. Suddenly Tobias is on his knees in front of me grabbing my chin and forcing me to look at him. Seeing the tears in my eyes he swiftly wipes them away with his thumb.

"I promise he will never lay a hand on you again. I know you hate me because I left, but please just give me a chance to make things right. You do not have to pretend to be okay when you're clearly not. Let me be there for you please." He pleads and I cannot stop the waterworks.

At that moment I give up completely on trying to hold it together and fall into my brother's arms sobbing hysterically. I have been living behind an emotionless mask for so long that this break down lifts a huge weight off my shoulders. Even though I am still mad at Tobias I cannot help but feel like I have finally made it home. Tobias is my home and he always will be no matter what happens between us. The road to repairing our relationship is going to be messy and probably full of more fights, but I will try for the sake of my own sanity.

...............

The scent of freshly brewed coffee wakes me from my peaceful slumber and as I sit up sit up a mug of the boiling liquid is instantly thrust in my direction. Tris plops down on the edge of the bed just as Tobias strolls over from the kitchen.

"The bleeding has stopped, and I have dressed the wounds as best I can, but you should probably go to the infirmary to let them look at your back" Tris informs.

"No, I am not going to the infirmary. I do not want anyone else knowing about this." I argue.

"It is just a suggestion Tay. If you do not want to go at least let Tris help you keep your back clean. You can shower here from now on." Tobias replies.

"But won't I get in trouble if I am caught sneaking into an instructor's apartment?" I ask.

"Do not get caught." Tris says smirking at me and handing over a key.

..................

for the second time, I decide to skip dinner, but this time it is not because I am not hungry. I cannot bare to face all the curious glances and questions I am sure to get. My destination of choice to hide out away from everyone is the chasm. The one place not many people venture near, due to its dangerous nature. the echo of boots against the stone floor alerts me to someone approaching. Instead of looking over to see who the person is I keep my focus on the rushing water below me.

"Skipping dinner again I see." Eric states lowering himself down next to me."

"like you care." I snort.

"Watch it Tatum." He warns as he hands me a plate of steaming food.

"I am surprised you even know my name. Why did you bring me food?" I respond

"Cannot have my initiates going hungry." He states staring out into the dark abyss that is the chasm.

Silences fills the air as I begin to dig into the plate full of creamy mashed potatoes and grilled chicken. It is not until I am completely finished that Eric speaks up again.

"What is wrong with your back? A fall like that should not have caused you to bleed." His voice is full of concern.

"I do not want to talk about it." I sigh reaching up to pull my hair out of the loose ponytail.

"if your injured you need to go to the infirm-"

"No, I will not go to the infirmary. It is nothing I cannot handle on my own. I am fine. So please drop it." I snap cutting him off.

"Tatum-"

"Drop it Eric." I once again cut him off.

rising up I walk in the direction of the dormitory in hopes of avoiding further questioning from him. I groan out in frustration when I feel his hand lace around my arm and pull me into a dark alcove. Before I can protest warm, plush lips land on mine. Panic washes over me and I push Eric away much harder than I meant to. Shock and anger cross his face as he makes his way back to his feet. Marching over to me with a deathly look in his eyes he halts when he is close enough to see the panic and terror etched onto my face.

"What is wrong?" he asks concern crossing his rugged features.

"I-I" I stutter as I try to keep my break down at bay.

Noticing my struggle Eric does something I never thought he was even capable of. He wraps his arms around me and slides to the floor holding me close.

"Please tell me what is wrong." his once intimidating voice now soft and soothing.

"I can't." I whisper.

"Did someone hurt you?"

"Eric...." I whine wishing for him to stop.

"Tatum. If someone hurt you-"

"Multiple people have hurt me for years. There is nothing you can do so please just drop it; I really do not want to talk about this." I state cutting him off.


He does not reply anymore, and we just sit there in silence. I lay my head against his shoulder as his thumb rubs circles on my arm. The unfamiliar sense of safety washes over me and my eye lids become heavy. Struggling hard against my own body's urge for sleep I eventually succumb.

................

Rolling over and stretching my sore muscles my hand lads on something hard. My eyes Instantly fly open and I fall out of bed at the sight before me. Within seconds the light flips on and a very shirtless Eric stands before me. My eyes linger for a few seconds to long on his perfectly toned torso. His muscles flex as my eyes travel from his chest, to his perfectly chiseled six pack, then to the perfect v that disappears into the waist band of his grey sweats. My eyes travel slightly lower and the heat rises in my cheeks at the realization that those grey sweats do not leave much to the imagination.

"Like what you see?" Eric taunts snapping me back to reality.

"I – um...." I stumble to find words

"Get up off the floor and get back in bed." He chuckles

"Why am I here. Better yet, why am I in bed with you" I inquire making my way to my feet.


"You fell asleep in my arms so instead of taking you back to the dorms where everyone would see me carrying you and get suspicious, I brought you back here."

"That does not explain why I am in bed with you." I retort.

"Well you are not going to sleep on the couch, and neither am I so here we are." He supplies.

"How do you know I will not sleep on the couch."

"Because I said so." He states

"Because I said so is not a good answer." I snort and place my hands on my hips.

"Just get back in bed. You have the day off tomorrow so just get some rest."

"I will not get back in your bed." I challenge.

Without warning he grasps my waist and pulls me onto the bed. I land on top of him and my heart rate begins to increase. The only times I have been this close to a many were times I was being violated. The closeness makes me nervous because of the past but there is also another feeling there that I do not recognize and it just adds to that nervousness. Breaking out of my little trance I roll back over to the far edge of the bed and face away from him. He chuckles for the second time in the past ten minutes before I feel movement on the bed. Eventually he settles and everything becomes silent. Instead of fighting the wave of fatigue I just give in.