distraction: you

chapter twenty four

the door opens, slowly but surely, and with it, a dam breaks in brett's chest, his mind flooding with sudden, aching relief.

eddy hadn't continued to push him away. brett himself had stood resolute and unyielding, against all odds. and finally, most importantly: eddy's letting him in.

it's with this one heady thought in mind that brett readies himself for this battle, whatever the unseen enemy may be. he's stepping into unknown territory at this point; all he knows is that elizabeth chen's presence is causing his friend pain, but he'll be here. whatever eddy needs.

no matter the mental acrobatics he's employed to ready himself, brett is woefully unprepared for the sight of eddy chen trembling against the wall: a man beaten black and blue. his face—once cold, once proud—is now ashen, pale, thoroughly devastated. brett just barely stops himself from reaching out and wiping away the tears staining his friend's skin; he doesn't think he'll be welcome.

despite the stiffness of his starched suit, brett manages to fold his limbs to sit cross-legged, the restroom tiles cold under him. he's not about to complain, however.

he's quickly realizing he'd do anything for this man before him. it's a foregone conclusion, really.

it takes a few minutes of silence, from breath to bated breath, before eddy finally speaks. "my mother was a," he begins, voice uncertain, "very controlling woman. i didn't realize it at the time, but she was— very good at making me follow her will."

eddy closes his eyes, slides against the wall to slump down at the floor. "she made me endure things a child shouldn't have had to endure. mental things, punishing things. it messed with my mind a lot. it—well." a harsh sigh clatters between eddy's clenched teeth. "it messed me up. i do deserve the whole ice prince thing; i know exactly where that's coming from."

brett shakes his head violently, trying to deny it, but the other man stops him with a pointed look, and fine, yes, that's true to some degree. everyone had hated the ice prince persona, brett most of all probably. he'd wanted to strangle that guy, back then.

"i've made my peace with it, with everything she's done," eddy continues in a resigned way that makes it seem like he really means the exact opposite, "and i know i made it out of childhood broken, but i—"

no, no, brett's not gonna have any of that.

"you are not broken, eddy," he interjects, furious on his friend's behalf. "come on—whatever you've been through, you've been trying your best to overcome it. that's not what it means to be broken." he has to dig eddy out of the mindset he'd adopted; he has to let eddy see. "you pieced yourself back together. you didn't let it get the best of you—"

"no, but i almost did, hey?" a frustrated growl climbs out of eddy's throat, and he runs his fingers through his hair with viciousness. "my mother taught me that distractions are weaknesses, that perfection is worth more than friends or lovers or doing the honorable thing, and i almost—i almost let that mess with my life right now."

"how," brett asks, breathless, trying to keep up, but eddy continues, unrelenting.

"i almost let that screw up our friendship, and i—i don't know what i would've done if it had."

this time, brett has no words. is he hearing what he thinks he's hearing? had eddy just—he'd thought that brett was—or is—a distraction?

what does that even mean?

"i just," eddy moves on, burying his face in his hands, "i don't know. i've been pushing people away because of—i've been alone for most of my life, and it's just—i'm not strong enough to think that it's anything other than my fault for being weak."