His Secretary | Park Jimin FF | ✅✅✅

29: Fight For Her

6 months later

Jimin

I gazed at the view of the city quietly from the balcony of the mansion. The lights that seemed to be twinkling from afar made me lose myself in the tranquility of the night. The moon lit the whole place making the night serene.

6 months...

It's been 6 months I got that letter from her.

6 months since she was gone.

After reading that letter, my mind went to panic mode. I rushed to her apartment hoping that I could catch a glimpse of her, hoping that I could tell her that I didn't want to let her go and that I would fight for her, for us.

But she was gone and I was too late.

The once cozy apartment was empty and it left my own heart in pain.

It's been 6 months I haven't seen her. I knew that I could chase her, could find her even if she was in the most unknown parts of the world. But I didn't. I couldn't.

Because I can't do what she told me not to.

She told me not to ever seek her again. So, I didn't. Because our relationship was based on trust and respect. We built that relationship over the six years. Our relationship was based on the words we told. So, how can I ever go back on her words? That was the reason I did what she told.

And a part of me was afraid that she didn't want to see me again, that she wanted me to be out of her life forever.

I didn't seek her and damn, it's been six months how I am torturing myself each and everyday.

So many times, I wanted to use my resources to seek her. But I stopped.

Because everytime I decided to do that, the letter that was safely kept inside my drawer would bug my mind, would question my conscience, would question my heart that was so eager to find her when she had specifically told not to.

I missed her. She was gone but she left with a part of me as well.

The office was no more livelier. I couldn't sneak glances from the window of my office to her desk where she would be typing with a focused face.

Even the coffee tasted bad. Soya would bring the black coffee with one tea spoon of sugar, just like how she was told to but the coffee had lost it's charm. It tasted bad, bitter.

My eyes would always seek her among the crowd of people. I could still feel her scent in the atmosphere. Always so fresh, she smelled like lavender. But the scent had started to grow faint each and every day. I was longing for her.

I wanted to see her face, to hear her voice. How she would always follow me wherever I went. I would see her in my dreams, always behind me with the sound of her heels and when I tried to catch her, she vanished. I didn't want to sleep because even my dreams demanded her presence.

I had to convince my heart that she was gone but it wouldn't listen to me no matter what.

I drowned myself in work everyday trying to forget her, trying to erase this feeling that was driving me insane. Yes, the work would distract me but when I was home in the silence of the night, she haunted me and my thoughts once again.

And I was trying so hard to make it a habit to live without her. But how could I when her name would unconsciously leave my mouth? When her face would always appear in my vision when I closed my eyes?

My life had lost it's light. When I wasn't working, I would find myself zoning out. Lost in the thoughts of her.

I deserved it. Because I couldn't fight for her, fight for what we had.