Soulmate

Twenty Five: Jin

August 24, 2019
Seoul, South Korea

I run to the railing at the edge of the dorm's roof. My hands grip onto the metal, humid moisture from the heat of the day making my hands feel sweaty. I lean my torso over the edge of the railing and scream at the top of my lungs. I scream to the night sky, hoping maybe the stars will hear me.

The bitter tears of a broken and betrayed hart burn hot trails down my cheeks.

My members deserve this break. They deserve to only think about having the time of their lives and living to the fullest in this time. The last thing I could ever want would be to allow my emotions to control everything and ruin their vacations.

"I will never get that time back!"I scream out to the horizon. "I will never get rid of the memories! The pain that I've caused everyone will never go away! I will always be haunted by you and it's my own fault for being so desperate!"

I let it all out. Everything I've wanted to tell everyone the last few days, everything that has boiled up inside me, I let it overflow and I scream to the one thing that can't be hurt. The sky.

"I want to press charges," I continue. "But I don't want to drag this out longer! I'm sick of thinking about it! I'm sick of feeling used and exploited! I just want to forget about it all!"

"Wow," hums a deep, neutral voice behind me.

I jump at the sound. I wipe my cheeks hastily— though I know it's useless—and turn to face the intruder. My eyes widen when they land on the man's lanky figure.

"Joonie," I say softly, my voice barely above a whisper.

He places his hands into the pockets of his baggy pants and walks slowly to me. His eyes are distracted by the stars in the sky but mine stay glued to him, wondering why he's home five days early.

"What are you doing here?" I ask when he finally reaches the edge with me.

Namjoon simply sighs, eyes finally focusing on me. "Yoongi called me."

It's my turn to sigh now and I drop my head. "He told you?"

"He didn't have to," Namjoon says. "It's everywhere. It would be a miracle to find someone who didn't know about it. He simply told me I should come home. Said you were worse off than you've been letting on."

I chuckle humorlessly. "Damn, that guy. He knows me too well. He doesn't eve live with us anymore and he knows."

His eyes train back up to the stars and I sniffle to erase the remainder of my tears and turn my attention fully on him. His posture is different. His shoulders have fallen slightly, his eyes and face are heavy with an emotion I'm too familiar with. Loneliness.

"You look down," I simply say.

"Do I?"

"Was your trip bad?"

He sighs. "I don't think it's the best thing to talk about right now."

I notice his hand move in his pocket. His wrist makes a point to rub against his hip bone, the area where his tattoo rests. He doesn't even have to say anything. I already know.

"What happened?" My voice comes out more demanding than I wanted it to, less of a question and more of a 'you better tell me what's going on right now before I beat it out of you.' That tone tends to come out often.

He shakes his head. "I met my soulmate in Vienna."

I ignore the pang in my heart and simply move on. "And?"