The Atonement of a Writer

7. One

They stood silently next to each other, both looking over the valley where the beasts were. These weren't even what they came for--they were only the babies.

"Think you can do it?" He asked, gaze never leaving the creatures.

"All at the same time? No." She cocked her head, thinking, then pointed in the opposite direction. "Let's run."

He finally turned his gaze to her, more out of surprise than anything else. "Run? As in, run away?"

She snorted. "No. I don't run away. I meant, go grab one each and roast them all. You see those hides? Since they're only babies, it's pretty flammable. They won't make it out of the stampede."

~*~

She was dreaming.

Lili knew she had to be dreaming, because the first thing she did when she saw the dark, seemingly endless space before her, was pinch herself. That seemed to be a habit these days.

She was floating in nothingness. She reached out, and saw nothing but her arms. And that was it, because there was nothing else--she was alone, utterly alone.

Not that it bothered her as much as it used to. These days, it was better to be alone, so she could collect her thoughts. Whenever she was around people--the ones who knew her but didn't know her--everything was so loud she couldn't hear herself. So she floated, idly, and wondered what the point of this dream was.

She ran her hands through her hair with a sigh, a habit she had never been able to break. Sophie scolded her every time she had to redo her hair. Right now, though, there was no one to reprimand her, and her hair wasn't done anyway--she knew this because her brown locks flew freely around her shoulders.

She froze, and tugged at her hair. Brown? Was she herself again?

Just as that thought crossed her mind, a bright light, the size of a star in the night sky, appeared out of nowhere. Lili blinked at it, before shrugging and deciding to go with the flow. Dreams, right?

She reached out and grabbed at the white light. The moment she touched it, it expanded until everything turned white. She closed her eyes, unable to withstand the brightness, and when she could open them again, the scene had shifted. She was in her old, comfortable pajamas from back in the real world, standing on a smooth water surface, causing ripples as she shifted. Curious, she tried to push her foot down, but the water surface didn't budge. She knelt down and tried to push a finger in, but her finger couldn't go in either.

She would've kept at it, if not for someone clearing their throat, catching her attention.

Lili looked up and saw a girl she'd previously not noticed. She, too, was wearing a comfortable-looking nightgown from her world, with velvet red hair and indigo eyes. What made her stand apart, though, wasn't her unusual appearance; it was the way she carried herself. Everything about her screamed beautiful and confident. She was a lady, and she was a force to be reckoned with.

"Arielle." Lili almost didn't recognize her own voice. It wavered, hesitant, as if the person in front of her could be anyone but Arielle.

"Lili," she greeted, smiling. An inexplicable wave of emotion suddenly crashed into her. When was the last time anyone called her by her name, her real name?

No, Lili, she told herself, get a grip of yourself.

Now was not the time to be emotional, though a small part of her eeped at the fact that she was meeting Arielle, the character she never thought she would meet. There was only one other person Lili could think of that would know why she was in this world, and that person was standing before her.

She needed answers. Dreams usually meant a lot in fantasy worlds, right?

"How are you here?"

"How are you here?" Arielle shot back. "Does it really matter? You're already living my life, Author."

"And...you're okay with that?"

Arielle shrugged. "The story has already started. Now, you must finish it."

"But what about you?"

"What about me? We are not as separate as you think, Author."

"I am not you," Lili answered. That much she was sure of.

"Lili." Arielle reached out and caressed a strand of her hair. "Be yourself, and learn to live comfortably. Then you will be just like me."

"What does that even mean?" This was a very weird dream. "How am I to survive--let alone live comfortably--when I don't even know how to use your powers?"

It wasn't like she hadn't tried. She would sneak outdoors and try to communicate, but all she got were frustrated huffs from the animals and they would leave her. There was nothing magical about it.

"We are not separate," Arielle repeated. "The power will only become yours once you accept that."

"But you're everything I'm not." It came out as a whisper.

"I am everything you work towards," she agreed. "But somewhere along the way you stopped fighting for it. You will never be me, but if you don't fight, you will not be even an inch of me. You imagine life, but you never work to achieve it. In the end, everything is nothing but figments of your frustrations and hopes.

"You," Arielle drew closer and closer, "are the writer. Not only do you fail to claim ownership of your life, but you would also let your own characters go astray? Pathetic."

Pathetic. The word echoed in Lili's head. Perhaps, compared to Arielle, she was pathetic. In terms of relationships, personality, power...

...But Arielle was created by Lili. Without Lili, there would be no Arielle.

Something inside her--long, forgotten pride laid in the dust--stirred restlessly. All her life, she'd laid down her pride and let everyone walk over her--her family, teachers, "friends"...and she found solace in writing. Now Arielle was taking that away from Lili as well?

How dare she?

"Astray? Like you?" Lili retorted, standing up so they were level.

To Lili's growing annoyance, she smirked, as though something in her answer satisfied her. "Yes. Exactly like me. What are you going to do about it?"

What was she going to do about it? She was going to--

It was then Lili realized something.

"You played me," she accused.

Arielle's laugh was like the sound of tinkling bells. "Aren't you a smart one, Author. It seems that you do have that fire in you. I was worrying for nothing."

Arielle then cocked her head as if listening to something only she could hear. "Time is running out. Good luck, Author...you'll need it."

That didn't sound like a compliment. "Wait! How...how do I go back to my world?"

"If you accept your situation as is, and live as yourself, not me...your road will become much easier." With that, Arielle started to fade. Lili reached out to grab her, but she only grasped air.

"Hey--come back! You can't just leave like that. What are you, some wise old man who only knows to leave cryptic words behind?" She never even answered her questions. Was she telling her to give up all thoughts of going back?

Lili shook her head. Why was she looking for answers in a dream anyway? Maybe she had finally gone insane.

Lili glanced around the blank space. She scowled. She may not be equipped to live out the story, but she was the goddamn writer of this story. There had to be something she could take advantage of--something only she, the writer, would know.

Sure, there wouldn't be much. She hadn't really worked out the inner workings of this world yet. But there had to be something--something she'd missed before.

Suddenly, something moved underneath her feet. The water, which had remained calm the whole time during their conversation, began to swirl. Before she could cry out, she was falling through, the whirlpool pulling her left and right, water filling her lungs as she tried to scream. Then everything went black.