Hide and Seek 3: The Last Game

Chapter 5: Mother's Passing

Walking back home was tiring. I was for sure ready to knock out. However, as soon as I opened the door, I found my mom on the floor sobbing. I took in a deep breath, closed the door gently, and took a few steps towards her. "Mom," I said as gently as I could with my hand on her shoulder.

She didn't say anything. She just continued crying.

I sat on the couch in front of her, noticing the large yellow paper on the table. It was an eviction notice. I read it over. We had one month to pack our stuff and leave.

"Why didn't you tell me you needed help with the rent?" I said to her. I was so upset because she told me that we had been caught up.

She turned to me, eyes red and face puffy from crying. "I'm doing the best I can," she cried. "You're off at college. Maybe you'd think to just ask if I needed a little more help. But no. You're selfish."

I didn't answer. Arguing with her seemed pointless and I could either only take what she said with a grain of salt and move on, or ignore her.

"I'll find a part time job," I simply said.

I started to walk away. Behind me mother lit a what I thought was a cigarette. When I turned around, I saw her about to light a spoon. She was back on drugs...

I ran to her, knocking the lighter and spoon away. I wiped the stuff off then backed away just in case she got physical. With tears in my eyes, I looked at her.

"Isn't the drinking enough for us!" I yelled out loud. I could feel my heart about to burst from heartbreak. The pain I felt when I realized she was getting sick again and trying to find comfort in the most toxic of ways. "That's where our money is going?! How could you do this to us!"

She smiled at me. Something she did while knowing she was guilty. Never once did I get an apology from her. My mother could never admit to being wrong. She got up and continued laughing, casually walking into her bedroom as if nothing happened.

That night consisted of panic attacks and anxiety that I did my best to ignore. Locking myself in my small box of a room, I tried but everything was hitting me at once. Flashes of the past of when my mom constantly brought horrible men around us, flashes of the men she let hit me, flashes of her abusing me in the worst of ways.

I squeezed my pillow and cried into it more, feeling so defeated. "I hate her," I said over and over silently. However, saying I hated her did nothing and wishing the pain away didn't help. I knew that time was key and patience. And while thinking that all I needed was time and patience, I drifted off to sleep.

The dreams I had were horrifying. Dark shadows danced around my mind and some sort of inescapable darkness surrounded me from every corner. I felt pressure in my chest. I struggled for air. Struggled greatly trying to awake from my suffocating dream. I woke up gasping for air, drenched in sweat. Horrified and feeling like complete shit. I tried to calm myself down.

"It's all in my head," I said to myself. "I'm okay. I'm fine. It's all in my mind." As I was telling myself that over and over, I heard my mom calling my name from outside my door. Her tone was sluggish and sounded like she had been drinking.

I ignored it, still angry at her. It was 3 am and I didn't need attend to her self inflicted wounds. Not tonight.

"Tori!" She called out my name louder.

I was honestly half asleep. I could hear her calling me in my dream that was forming. A shadow on the wall, calling me.

"Mom," I thought I was saying in my dreams but I said out loud. "Mom."

I sat up, getting this feeling that something was extremely wrong. In the dark, I struggled to put on my pajama pants and turn on the light. I stumbled out into the living room, panicking like crazy. Something was wrong.

I turned on the living room light to find my mom on the floor, eyes open, and a bunch of pills underneath her. In her hand was a picture of me with the pill bottle in the other.

"Oh my God" I quickly lifted her head up on my lap and struggled to call 911. "Wake up! Mom! Mom!" I cried out. There was no way. There was just no way this was happening. Not her. Not my mom. I just heard her.

"Hello?" A female voice picked up the phone.

"My mom-" I cried into the phone choking on my words as I looked at her lifeless eyes. I dropped the phone before I could say anything else. I knew she was gone. I just knew it...