Sarah's Roses, Book II: Roses of White

Chapter XXV

Chapter XXV

 Of course talking about bravery is a lot easier than actually being brave, and I really didn’t feel brave that day. I was glad for one thing, I didn’t have to do any housework. Elsie took Evy to help her with the laundry and Lulu went to work in the kitchen. Kristoffs was feeling better and was even able to sit up in bed. Prissy stayed glued to her room, stating she would only come out when the Yanks left. Elsie loved this arrangement and informed Colonel White he was welcome to stay for as long as he pleased. I hadn’t seen Colonel White or any of his men since yesterday. Not like I was in a great hurry too. The less people who saw me in the state I was currently in, the better; I did have my pride after all. With the household occupied I wandered into the parlor and sat by the piano. Opening the lid I began playing ‘Oh Come All Ye Faithful’ hoping to at least get a small feeling of Christmas into the air. Only I wasn’t feeling very joyful or triumphant and at last I gave up and just sat staring at the piano keys.

At one point I felt two hands place a shawl around my shoulders, and then gently stroke my head. What caused me to worry was the hands were not female. I spun around, terrified of whoever was touching me.

“Oh Sammy,” I breathed, “you shouldn’t scare me like that. Not after all I have already been through.”

“What did he do to you?” Sammy’s voice was filled with horror and concern. I remembered what my face looked like and turned away.

“It’s nothing,” I stated, “others have gone through worse and survived. If the sight of me distress you then just leave.”

“Sarah, why are you trying to get rid of me?” He knelt down beside me.

“I’m not trying to get rid of you, Sam,” I argued.

“It’s Sammy, Sarah. Sammy! I don’t let anyone in this world call me that, save you. Look at me for pity’s sake, I haven’t seen you in nearly six years.”

“No offense, but I certainly don’t look much like I did back then.”

“But you are still Sarah. You have no idea how much I thought about you during these long years. I wondered what had become of you, if you had married or not. When I came back for my family and found out you were gone, I can’t even begin to describe how disappointed I was. All these years I’ve wished for a chance to at least get a glimpse of you, and when I realized we were coming to the Greensten Plantation, I was excited and terrified at the same time. I didn’t know what to expect when we got here. And the last thing I thought would be that you would want to avoid me. Please, at least just look at me.

Reason told me to stay as far away from Sammy as possible; I didn’t need for things to get even more complicated. But with a sigh I pushed reason away and turned to face him. His features had hardened a little, and while he was in every way the same Sammy I had fallen in love with, at the same time, he was completely different. Sammy was a man now, a true man and I think that fact scared me a little and attracted me at the same time.

“Are you comfortable kneeling on the floor like that?” I asked.

“No.”

“Come then,” I stiffly rose from the piano and motioned for him to follow me to the sofa. On my way I threw a log into the fire and stoked it a bit. We both settled on the couch, Sammy looking intently at me, while I was studying every piece of furniture in the parlor.

“Where did the shawl come from?” I asked him at last.

“Oh, Elsie told Evy to give it to you, but she was playing with her dolls and didn’t want too. I waited till Elsie left and then told Evy I would take it to you.”