NOVOCAINE ━ Grizz Visser

09. You Awake?

NINE YOU AWAKE?

That night as Wes tried to sleep, he tossed and turned as his mind replayed the words Grizz had said to him in the church earlier. You broke my heart first. What did that mean? Had he ever done anything to hurt Grizz before their big fight? He couldn't remember and he had a feeling he would remember something like that. It was probably nothing for Wes to be concerned about, it wasn't like they were friends and this was something he had to worry about. So, Wes should be able to stop thinking about it, right? Wrong. It was eating him alive.

"Winnie, Winnie, you awake?" Wes asked in a stark whisper, his voice standing out against the prominent silence in his sister's room. "I'm having a crisis."

"I think we all are," the girl muttered through the darkness. He watched as the sheets moved and the girl sat up, rubbing her eyes. "Does this have to be a middle of the night, thing? It's been a long day."

Wes whined as he flicked on his sister's light, "I can't sleep. Grizz and I talked about something and I can't stop thinking about it. I just... I need someone to help me figure this out."

The girl narrowed her eyes at him before she caved in with a groan and patted the spot on the bed next to her. "I can't believe we're still on the Grizz thing. What happened now?"

"Well, we talked a little bit on the trip and things were... normal between us, for the most part," Wes began to explain, "and when we got back after everyone left, he asked if maybe he and I could... not be friends, but at least not be enemies. We got to talking about what had happened --"

"And you resolved it, you're friends again, and we don't have to listen to you complain about him anymore?" Winona asked with a hopeful tone and a raised eyebrow. When he didn't respond, her face fell and she groaned, "Seriously? Why can't you just work it out? He's your best friend!"

The boy furrowed his brow, looking at her with disdain, "He slept with my girlfriend, Win. Anyway, before I was rudely interrupted, sheesh. Before he left after I told him how much he hurt me and how I couldn't forgive him, he said, and I quote, "I just wish you knew that you broke my heart long before I broke yours." What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I haven't stopped thinking about it, it's ridiculous! And he left before I could ask him about it!"

Winona pondered this for a minute as she looked at her brother quizzically as if he were missing something obvious. He briefly wondered if there was something on his face. After a drawn-out moment, she spoke, "Sounds gay."

"Winona!"

"No, I'm serious!" the girl exclaimed, blocking the pillow Wes was about to hit her with. "That literally sounds like it was ripped from some stupid best friends to lovers with heavy angst and slow-burn romance novel. I never knew Grizz was so poetic."

Wes groaned, shoving his face down into the pillow as he let out a scream into it before sitting back up, "Stop taking the piss! Grizz isn't gay and if he was, he wouldn't be into me. Besides, if he were gay, he wouldn't have hooked up with Amaya and he didn't lie about that because Amaya confirmed it so you're wrong."

"Two things," Winona stopped him as she held up two fingers, "If Grizz really did sleep with Amaya, bisexuality exists, don't be an asshole. Two, have you ever considered the possibility that she was covering for him?"

He had not considered that possibility. Then again, it didn't seem plausible. He had walked in on Amaya and Grizz, that was hard to fake. Besides, lying or not, there was no way Grizz was gay. He was... he was Grizz. They played pee-wee football together, they were closer than anyone else Wes knew, he would have told him.

"Grizz would have told me," Wes mumbled after a minute, his voice quiet, "We tell each other everything. Or, we did. I don't know, I just feel like that's something he would have trusted me with."

Winona shrugged, "Grizz has always been kind of... a private person, hasn't he? Maybe it was something he didn't want to tell you because he thought you would see him differently. I mean, you're one of the few people he actually let get close to him and maybe he didn't wanna screw that up. I don't know. I mean, I could be totally wrong here! Maybe it was Amaya he had a crush on and it broke his heart when you started dating her, it could just be that. I mean, like, how did he say it?"

"I don't know!" Wes exclaimed, letting his head fall into his hands as he propped his elbows up using the pillow on his lap, "This whole thing is so confusing. Grizz is so confusing. I mean, what if he did have a crush on me? And I just never noticed? What does that make me? You'd think I would know my best friend well enough to know that he liked me! Right?"

The girl looked at him with pity in her eyes as she was silent. He just wanted someone to tell him all the answers, "I don't know what to tell you, Wes."

He shot up, an idea popping into his head, "I'm calling Amaya."

"Oh God," Winona groaned, "You know what? Yeah, go ahead, I'm going back to sleep."

"Thank you!" he exclaimed in a sing-song voice as he stood up and walked back into his own room, unplugging his phone and hitting the contact he was very glad he still hadn't blocked.

"Wes? Why the hell are you calling me at... two in the morning?" Amaya's sleepy voice answered through the phone. In all honesty, he was surprised she answered at all, but he would take what he could get. "If we're gonna have a peace talk, at least let it be when the sun is out."

"Not a peace talk!" Wes called as he fell back onto his bed, "I have a question! Is Grizz gay?"

He heard the girl groan, but it was clear she was holding the phone away from her ear before he heard her voice loud and clear again, "Wes... what the fuck? I'm sorry, we're in an alternate universe or something completely cut off from the world and anyone who can help us and you are worried about whether or not your best friend is gay? What brought this on?"

"He said something to me earlier and I don't know... I got vibes. Well, Winona got vibes and now I kinda believe her," Wes explained half-heartedly, not feeling like going into a detailed explanation again, "When you said that you two hooked up, were you covering for him?"

"No, we're not doing this," Amaya sighed, "If you think Grizz is gay, bring that up to him, not me. Even if he was and I was covering for him, I wouldn't tell you because it's not my fucking secret to tell. Just go to bed, if Grizz wanted to tell you, he would. Goodnight, Wes."

She hung up before he could say anything else and the boy groaned, throwing his phone onto the bed with a defeated sigh. Somehow, he had far more questions than he had answers and he was sick of this. He wasn't sleeping that night, that's for sure.