𝐎𝐇 𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐀 ; lord tewkesbury

VIII.

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Tewkesbury pulled me into a hug, which I would've normally taken comfort in but this time I was resistant. I think he may have noticed my change in attitude because he pulled away quickly.

"What's the matter?" Tewkesbury laughed and bit his lip. Sometimes he could be completely clueless, but I suppose that's how most boys are.

I attempted to swallow down my emotions.

"If I'm being completely honest, I feel hurt. It's been months since you last wrote to me. And it's torture constantly having your stupid face in my head with absolutely no response. It feels as if you've been ignoring me, using me then throwing me out like a dirty rag. With all due respect, I have a right to be offended because I-"

Stopping myself, I took a breath.

Maybe I shouldn't have been mad at Tewksbury at all, but you have to understand this from my perspective. He has caused me tremendous heartache since our last visit.

"I'm sorry I've just been busy," Tewkesbury informed me. He looked as though he wanted to say more but he didn't, and that hurt even greater.

"Yes of course, you should be the one making time for me in your life, not the other way around." I whispered, my voice cracking.

"Look I didn't mean to hurt you, but we're together right now so I say we should make the most of it." He grabbed my hand.

One thing I found out about myself today was that Tewkesbury could completely swing my emotions in a matter of seconds. All he'd have to do is look at me and I was suddenly met again with a wave of euphoria.

"Who were you just with?" I questioned. Jealously and envy wasn't something I normally felt, but today it had came upon me.

"Oh, that was an old friend. A rather complicated story, one that we must save for another time." Tewkesbury nodded and quickly moved on.

I noticed that question made him uncomfortable and I became even more curious. I just couldn't help myself, an old friend? She had to be much more than that to him.

I could tell, his eyes beamed with wonder and full admiration when he was with her. As if he was impressed with her every move, every word.

I wondered if he looked at me the same.

I know I said I would stop comparing but I couldn't when this boy stood before me, telling me he cared for me and missed me. When just a few moments ago he was with her, probably telling her those same words.

But, why would he ask me to dance with him all those months ago?

Why would he pursue me if he felt nothing for me?

I decided to drown out my thoughts with the sounds of the chaos which surrounded me. I wouldn't let myself be one to fall into a black hole of my mind which would be hard to venture out of. I had to come back to reality.

"So shall we then?" Tewkesbury said quietly, his voice wavered. We had both become uneasy in each other's presence.

I nodded and followed him.