Fears

02

"Hey!" Gabriel stood up and hugged with Joshua, the guy in front of them. He had a new buzz cut and his gray eyes were as sharp as ever.

Shaun stared daggers at Joshua. "I remember you. You were one of the people. . ."

Gabriel stepped aside. Joshua stared at Shaun. "I think that's all in the past now, eh? Ryan isn't here anymore so I'm not bothered."

Shaun's eyes narrowed. "Uh huh." When he confronted the entire soccer team last year, Gab was the only one teasing Ryan. However, that didn't mean that he was the only one.

As he looked at the three other people, he realized that anybody there. . .wouldn't like the diversity.

"Now, now," one of them stood at the center. He held Joshua's arm. "Let's not try to get into a fight this early in the school year." This guy had ruffled brown hair and blue eyes. He had browner complexion than others.

Joshua moved his arm away from the guy, disgusted.

"You must be the soccer team." Rafael stood up from his bed. When Shaun looked, he seemed genuinely impressed. "And the team captain, Matt."

The guy smiled. "That's me. And you're. . ?"

"Rafael, nice to meet you." He shook hands with Matt.

"You've got some sport," he said. "If you wanna join the team, come to me." Matt turned to Shaun. "That offer goes to you."

Shaun huffed. "Um, I'll pass." He heard guys snicker behind Matt.

Matt turned and began walking away. "If you change your mind, you know who to go. Let's go boys."

Reluctantly, they followed him. Joshua gave a look at Shaun before leaving the room and closing the door.

Rafael smirked. "Great guys."

Gab breathed. "No. . .not really."

"I agree," Shaun added. He turned to Rafael. "They aren't exactly the nice guys. Whatever you do, you should be careful around them. I've gone with them once and they were complete assholes."

Gab chuckled at that one, but Rafael wasn't exactly convinced.

The new room mate huffed. "I'm gonna go now." Without saying another word, he left the room. Shaun mused that he was going to catch up with the soccer team.

Joshua ticked him off a lot, but he wasn't sure about Matt. Shaun got the idea he was new around these parts, so he didn't know what happened. He might have good intentions, he thought.

Shaun sat on Rafael's bed. He looked up at Gab. "So how are things going with you and Aaron?"

"Uh, we're doing well, I guess." Gab sat on his bed with the same position. "I have yet to tell him about it. I—I mean, he knows the drunken kiss part, but not the I-like-you part."

Shaun smirked. "Good luck with that. Must be busy then if you guys haven't talked about it. It's been almost three months. But take it slow, huh?"

He cupped his hands in front of his face. "Yeah. He's so adorable, y'know."

Shaun thought about Ryan. "Tell me about it."

They were both silent for a while. "How about you? How's Ryan."

A whirlpool opened in his heart. "Lucky that Aaron's still chatting with you. Ryan and I didn't talk all summer."

Gab looked up. "Why? What happened?"

Shaun sighed. "I don't know."

It was true. The last time they talked was two weeks into vacation. They called each other almost every night and one time they planned to meet up.

But when that day came, Ryan never showed up.

After that, he never talked. Shaun tried messaging, calling, and even going up to his house to check on him. Shaun figured that he must had been busy because of the booming business.

The entire summer he felt a bit empty.

"It must've been horrible for you," Gab said, interrupting his thoughts. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Shaun replied. He took out his phone and looked through his contacts, stopping at Ryan's number. He stared at it for a while.

Then he dialed his number and placed his phone on his ear.

It began to ring. Shaun held his breath. But it stopped ringing after a few minutes. He closed his phone and sighed.

Gab didn't say anything.

Shaun stood up. "I'm going to go." Without looking at him, he left the room.

•

The wind whipped more harshly than ever when he reached the balcony on the gym. Beyond that was the soccer field and an exquisite view of the land extending to the sea.

Shaun took a deep breath. He remembered that this was where Ryan kissed him, when he was about to play. He remembered all the times he'd cheer for him whenever there was a tournament in school.

He smiled. Those were great memories.

But now, he was gone. It was like they kissed once and then he disappeared. Everything went back to normal again. He experienced a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, but he wanted more.

Shaun laughed. How ironic that all of this started with a drunken kiss.

"You okay? You look insane laughing to yourself like that."

He turned and saw a familiar face. "Drake," he breathed.

"Heya buddy." Drake extended his arms. Shaun tackled him in a tight hug.

"Ooookay," he mumbled. "Y—you can let go now."

Shaun relented, astonished. "I missed you! How was summer?"

"Great." He scratched his head. "I went to visit my relatives, my cousins. . .you know, the usual. How about you?"

"Awesome. But why are you here?"

"I went for a walk and I found you here."

"Okay. . ."

"How are you and Ryan?" Drake asked.

Shaun held his breath. Then he sighed. "We're. . .okay. He hasn't talked much."

"That's fine." He patted him on the back. "It might take some time for him."

A lump formed on his throat. "No, you don't get it. He hasn't been talking to me all summer. I don't want. . ."

"Hey, cheer up!" Drake persisted. "He must be busy. You know his family's business has been booming lately. Ryan might be really occupied, but I know that he'll make some time for you. He's your boyfriend after all. Stop fussing about it."

Shaun managed a smile. "Thanks."

"No problem." He looked around. "Now it's getting late. We should go to the canteen to get some dinner. It's on me this time."

Shaun looked at the sky and realized it was already getting dark. The stadium's lights were coming on. He could see the little flickers of light coming from the several buildings below them.

The wind whipped again. Shaun nodded. "Alright." Then they began to walk back into the gym and onto its exit.

As they walked, Shaun wanted to believe what Drake had said, but there was a tiny part in him that didn't believe it.

Something was going on, but he didn't know why.