The Villainess With No Happy Endings

Chapter Twenty-Four - Valentine Special - A Memory Of A Coward

I am sitting away hidden in a corner and sitting on the ground having a smoke. This is my second cigarette but I really don't care at the moment, I need to calm down for a bit. I could hear the laughter of other students walking past the place I am currently hidden. It sounds like they are probably happy... Unlike me...

Today is Valentine's day and I am currently suffering. I hate this day with a passion... I hate the fact it is a day where people just show off their love for their lover... I hate that I want someone to do something for me... Such a childish wish of mine, I know better than that.

"▇▇▇▇▇! What are you doing here smoking again? This is seriously bad for you..." I was taken out of my thoughts by a familiar male voice. Looking up from my feet I could see a familiar warm smile and my heart tighten like it always does. He looked at the cigarette in my hand with a concerned smile on his face but he still came over to sit with me.

"If you don't want to see me smoke then go away. I am not forcing you to be here, you know?" I hate the fact I act so harsh near him. I don't want to be like this but I am scared to let down my guard and get hurt. I can't keep getting hurt.

"Why can't I hang out with my favorite person? Sure I don't agree with your smoking habit but I like hanging out with you too much!" I tried not to blush when he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. I couldn't help but smell the cologne currently on him... He smells so nice...

"Stop touching me. I don't want you to smell like cigarette smoke and get in trouble with the teachers..." I couldn't allow myself to be close to him for too long or else he will realize my feelings for him... I don't want these feelings of mine to be noticed, it will force me to acknowledge them and that scares me.

"▇▇▇▇▇! I knew you care about me! You are just the best friend ever. I don't care if I end up smelling like cigarette smoke. I mean I can just cover it up with my cologne." I tried not to let out a weird noise when he pulled me close to him again. My heart was beating so fast and it feels like I am going to die...

"...Quit holding me so close." I felt so relieved that my voice didn't sound shaky at all but I could feel the hand holding my cigarette shaking a bit and I hope that he wouldn't notice how he was making me react to his close contact.

"Noooo! You never let me hug you like this... Don't you like me, ▇▇▇▇▇?" He placed his head on my shoulder and looked up at me with those eyes that always take my breath away. I felt a strong urge to kiss him but I forced myself to ignore that feeling of mine.

"You aren't a child so quit acting like one already." I pushed his face away with my hand that wasn't holding my cigarette and I felt something wet touch the palm of my hand which caused me to quickly bring it back to my side.

I could see that his tongue was peeking out of his mouth and he had a teasing look in his eyes that just made me want to run away in embarrassment. I hate how he would do stuff like this and expect that it does nothing to my heart... But I can't pretend I don't enjoy this.

I am a weirdo. Someone like me shouldn't be allowed to feel this. If he knew my thoughts he would think I am some freak. I don't want him to dislike me...

"I should punch you for licking me, asshole." I hid what I was currently feeling behind a glare. I always do this when I don't want anyone to see my true feelings... Such a childish way to handle things, I know.

"Sorry, sorry. Hey, did anyone give you chocolate today?" I didn't understand why he asked me this, he knows how people view me in this school so why would anyone give me any chocolates. He must want to tease me or something like that.