Train Wreck

twenty one

ALICE POV

"Alice? Are you ready?" Daddy knelt down and took my hand, his own shaking as he let out a long breath. "Miss Clara is really sleepy but baby boy is just perfect.  She can't wait for you to meet him!"

We walked together into the hospital room while I held a teddy bear I had chosen from the grocery store toy section. I just wanted him to have something very soft that he could cuddle with so he could feel safe.  There were plenty of toys and clothes I also picked out with Miss Clara, including a really cute onesie that I couldn't wait to see him wear that said "I love my mommy."  

My little heart already ached with love for this baby boy before I even met him.  

Clara had me read her tummy books and would sing me lullabies, saying it was all for baby boy when in reality it was to soothe a panic attack or night terror I was struggling through.  Her gentle way of comforting me had more of an impact on my development than I could ever comprehend.  Daddy was loving and kind but Clara just understood sometimes all I needed was a hug and "Sing, Sweet Nightingale" to feel better.

The hospital room felt almost dream like. White sheets with a yellow blanket and bouquets of pink roses and daffodils, her favorite. She was resting with her blonde hair piled on top of her head and looked exhausted while the blue blanket in her arms was softly cooing.  The hospital gown was plain but that never mattered with Clara.  

Her beauty was all in how she looked at the world and helped me see it more clearly.

"Shhhh," Daddy led me toward a couch near the bed where I sat obediently, eyes wide as he slowly approached the bed.  He kissed Clara on the forehead, a tender gesture that made even my seven year old heart sigh happily.  I watched him lean down and peek at the baby in Clara's arms.  My small body strained to get a look but instead he picked up the bundle.

"Hey, dear girl! I am so happy to see you!" Clara's voice sounded tired but happy. She reached my way now that her arms were empty and I came closer, scampering onto the hospital bed with her as gently as I could to avoid the wires and IV lines.

She wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug, sighing with contentment. I grinned, "Are you okay?"

"I am wonderful, and I cannot wait to introduce you to someone. Meet Benjamin Gregory Matthews." Clara beamed and gestured toward Daddy as he moved the baby closer so I could see him better. "What should we call him, Liss?"

My nose scrunched and I tilted my head, "Matthews? Like you, Miss Clara?"

She grinned, "That's right, but..." her eyes went to my daddy and he blushed. I had never seen him blush before and it made me giggle.  My big strong Army Lieutenant General Daddy with his crewcut and fatigues, blushing as he held a tiny blue bundle in his arms.

He spoke up, "Alice, maybe one day down the road his last name will change..."

"To Davidson, like me?" I said excitedly, clasping my hands together like a prayer.

Clara cuddled me closer and kissed my cheek, "Just like you. We get to choose our families. That's what is most important.  We just need some time, but I promise you we are not going anywhere."

I leaned forward and reached to touch baby Benjamin. His eyes fluttered open and met mine, startling me a moment. I gasped, causing Daddy and Clara to chuckle at my reaction but the baby just stared at me then smiled. 

I looked right back at him and knew the perfect nickname.

"He looks like a Benji."