A Simple Deception

XXII

"Real courage is when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what." Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

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*TW mentions of sexual violence*

XXII.

Susanna had seen the ocean before, though she hardly thought the seaside at Brighton compared to the vastness of the open water. The horizon met the sea and it did truly look infinite.

Seeing the ocean in its glory each day did momentarily distract from the seriousness of her business aboard the ship. And it did not deter her thoughts for long. The days seemed impossibly long and each mile covered longer still.

"Susanna, you must wake me if you are to come above deck. You cannot be unescorted."

Adam's voice startled Susanna, and she turned to see her brother joining her at the bow of the passenger ship. His eyes were weary, and she was certain that her own would appear much the same.

"I hardly think that matters now," murmured Susanna as she folded her arms across her chest, before she immediately felt guilty for dismissing her brother.

Susanna would never forget what Adam had done for her.

It had been two months, or thereabouts, since Susanna had learned that Mr Bishop had sold Alex to smugglers who were bound for the British Virgin Islands. It had been that long at least since she had slept without nightmares that plagued her with worry as to what he was enduring.

The minute Susanna had learned of Alex's fate she had been determined to go after him, to do whatever she could to recover him regardless of her own safety.

Adam had known this. Not long after Susanna had made up her mind to find her way to the Caribbean, he had voiced his own intention to escort her. Adam had left his wife to help Susanna. His daughters. She knew he loved his family beyond words, and though he would never say it, it severely hurt him to be parted with them for so long. Susanna knew that she would never be able to repay him.

Adam had written Grace to inform her of their plans, and he and Susanna had travelled post-haste to Southampton to board the first vessel to the British Virgin Islands. Their carriage was then sent back to Hertfordshire with Argent in tow.

What Susanna had not foreseen was the superstitions of sailors. The only ships travelling to the British Virgin Islands, or anywhere in the Caribbean, that were not Navy ships were merchant vessels. A woman on board was simply notacceptable.

So, instead, Adam had secured them passage on a vessel carrying migrants to the Colonies, and they were bound for a place called New Orleans. From there, Adam planned to bribe their way onto an American ship, hoping that they were less superstitious than the British seamen.

Perhaps part of her anguish was that she was not travelling directly to where Alex would be. Would she be too late by the time she finally found her way to the British Virgin Islands? And what would 'too late' even mean? Would he be dead?

Visions of Alex's back covered in lashing scars suddenly filled Susanna's mind and she clamped her eyes shut, so as to will them away. She couldn't allow herself to think that way.

"What if we'd listened?" whispered Susanna. "What if we had allowed him to speak that day? What if I had believed him?"

Susanna had asked her brother these questions a thousand times.

"Susanna, I wouldn't have let you," Adam uttered. "After the revelations of that day, there was no way Alex was remaining on Ashwood property regardless of the truth. There was nothing you could do. The one to blame is Mr Bishop and you know it."