A Simple Deception

XXXVII

"What people have the capacity to choose, they have the ability to change." Madeleine Albright

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XXXVII.

"I will waste your paper, Susanna," Alex complained, as he reluctantly took Susanna's quill from her. They had been at sea now for several weeks, at least six, and every day, Susanna had spent time with both Alex and Belle teaching them to read and write.

Belle was an eager student and did not suffer from any of the bashfulness that seemed to overcome Alex quite frequently when he struggled in front of Susanna. She did her best to treat his insecurities with tenderness and was careful not to seem condescending when comforting him.

Susanna did feel keenly for Alex, and it had not been until she had been teaching them both that she had truly understood her privilege in receiving such a terrific education.

"If you are trying, then it is not wasteful," Susanna retorted.

Susanna could see the conflict in his dark eyes. He hated to appear stupid, or feel stupid, in front of her. He didn't want to make a mistake, and Susanna did not know how many times she needed to promise him that everything would be alright before he would finally believe her. "Write your name for me," she encouraged softly. "Go on. You have practised it."

Alex's thick, stern brow lowered as he reluctantly dipped the quill in ink, allowing the excess to drop off before he went to use it. Susanna wore a wry smile. Alex was more practised than he realised.

Alex then began to scratch the quill against the paper, though Susanna quickly noticed that he had not begun to write his name. Instead, he was writing something else.

Yu ar butefull

Susanna could decipher it easily, as he spelled well for someone with only six weeks of learning and learning from someone who was not a schoolteacher no less! Alex had learned his letters and could print them legibly. He could not yet read books or any of the pamphlets that were floating around the ship, but when Susanna wrote simple sentences, Alex could work them out after some time spent thinking about it.

But her heart swelled as she took in his words. He had written them for her, knowing that it would be difficult, knowing that they would be misspelled, and knowing that he would make a mistake. But, Susanna hoped, knowing also that it would not matter to her if he made a mistake.

"You are beautiful," Susanna read softly, and the moment she did, she watched the tension leave Alex's shoulders as a smile slowly crept across his face.

"Yes, that's what it says. I wrote it right?"

Hearing the sudden excitement in his accented English reminded Susanna once again that learning to read and write in English had to be additionally challenging for someone who was naturally a French speaker.

"It's perfect," she told him with a smile. "And thank you."

Alex brushed the back of his knuckles across Susanna's cheekbone, sending a shiver down her spine. She felt her cheeks flush pink. "Thank you," he countered. "Thank you for what you do for me."

***

In between reading and writing lessons and passing the time by staring out at the sea, Susanna found herself watching both of Alex's parents with curiosity. She hadn't asked Alex, nor anyone else, about what was going on between them, but she certainly could not put her finger on it.

They were cordial. Friendly. Captain Whitfield, in particular, was attentive towards Amélie, but they did not seem like reunited lovers destined for marriage and happiness. At least, Amélie did not seem this way.