Honey and Spice | ✔️

Chapter 33

Happy pride fellas!!! Friendly reminder that you're perfectly valid whether you're out or not and don't fall for rainbow capitalism (big corporations putting rainbows on their products just to get more money from us folks)!! also, pride is all year round ;)

Nathan

"Why do you have so many tubs of ice cream?" I stare at the haphazard pile in his freezer.

Ryder replies, "I stress eat sometimes."

"Ah." I pick a half-empty tub of Cookies and Cream, two spoons and join him on the sofa. A cooking show is on TV - I think it's MasterChef US because Gordon Ramsay is there, but it feels different. More . . . serious.

"What's this show?" I ask, spooning ice cream into my mouth.

"Hell's Kitchen," he replies, taking the tub from me. "Think MasterChef but more stressful, less cooking time, and more swearing."

Sure enough, Gordon starts uttering a string of profanities at one of the chefs. I grimace slightly at the sudden onslaught.

"That's a handful." I laugh.

He side-glances me, grinning. "You haven't seen the best ones yet."

He passes me the tub, with only less than a third of it left.

"My favourite insult from this show," he continues, "is - wait . . . it's, uh - " He trails off, looking fully at me with worry in his eyes. "It's quite a handful."

"I'm fine, don't worry."

"Okay." He clears his throat, then does a stunningly good impression of Gordon Ramsay: "Fuck off, you fat useless sack of fucking yankee stanky doodle shite." 

My eyes widen. "He really said that?"

"Yeah, he was pretty pissed." He shrugs, sticking his spoon in his mouth. "Hell's Kitchen is literally hell."

"Would you sign up for this, though? I mean - without the swearing bits and all."

"Uh, no." He scoffs.

"Why not? Your cooking is really good."

"It's stressful as shit there. And I can't handle stress well." Ryder says in between bites of ice cream. "Plus, if Gordon Ramsay - or literally anyone, for that matter - shouts at me, I'll cry."

I let out a tiny laugh. "Me too."

On screen, someone gives Gordon Ramsay raw lamb, and he brings everyone to the storage room. Ryder winces very loudly at that and my stomach turns - I don't think that's a good thing.

"Uh," Ryder says as Gordon shouts at the red team, "I put off this season for so long because sometimes I get too emotionally attached to the previous season's contestants, so . . . you know you get that feeling where you can't let go of certain stuff and when you get to the next one, it doesn't feel right?"

I know - it happens to me a lot when I finish a perfectly good book and the characters stay in my heart for a really long time. Starting new books is hard; I can't let go of a newly crafted life and jump into another world that quickly.

I nod.

He's quiet now, staring at the TV. I'm starting to think we're not talking about characters and seasons anymore, but I don't know what. I can't help but wonder what's going on in his mind. Taking his hand, I squeeze it, and he shakes his head after a few seconds.