Within The Bonds

77: Connecting The Dots

Astoria's P.O.V

The knots in my stomach, the throbbing in my head, the dryness in my throat, and the tightness in my chest, all set in together when open my eyes to find myself in a hospital.

My first instincts as I try to push back the panic attack that's threatening to surface, I to leave. But restrained by the IV tube attached to my arm along with multiple other wires, I find moving from my spot extremely hard to do without hurting myself.

"Just look at me anjo, you're fine," Liam's voice forces me to snap my panic-stricken gaze towards him.

"That's it, you're safe. Just trust me and try calming down," he instructs, yet my mind is too numb to process anything he's saying.

"Come on Astoria, you just need to focus on me. Ignore where you are right now, you need to calm down," he tries yet again, using his good hand to directing my face in his direction.

"I can't!" I snap. "It's...they are everywhere!" I cry out as I try pushing away the images that haunt my dream from appearing in front of me, but it feels like a losing battle.

"Get me out of here," I plead as my lungs struggle to take in air.

"Close your eyes and just listen to me, okay baby?" He says in a calm tone as his eyes search mine.

I don't know if it's the calmness in his tone or the gentleness in his eyes that makes me listen to him and tentatively close my eyes. "That's it, now just focus on your breathing," he instructs further and I do as I'm told.

"Don't think about anything else, just take nice deep breaths in and out," he says placing my hand against his chest as he takes a deep breath along with me.

"You're doing great, just like that," he praises as I slowly feel myself beginning to calm down.

"Now try thinking of a safe place, anywhere you want."

"You're safe, I promise," he adds in occasionally as I try to ignore the sterile smell of disinfectant with an undertone of artificial fragrance that permeates the air.

Taking Liam's advice, I try focusing my attention on picturing my safe place, but it's easier said than done. Everything I try to picture the pond in my backyard or even my room, all that flashes in front of my eyes are images of faceless people in scrubs approaching me.

"it's not working," I mumble out barely above a whisper, as my body tense up when I feel another presence beside me all of a sudden.

"That's alright," Noah's voice reassures, his voice causing me to relax a bit.

"Let's try counting out numbers, okay?" Noah suggests while Liam continues to take deep breaths with me, the rhythm of his heartbeat that I feel against my palm that is pressed against his chest, also being very helpful.

"Just list off all the even numbers you can think of," Noah adds and I manage to nod—my eyes still closed shut.

"Okay," I breathe out still trying to get my speeding heartbeat under control.

"Two, four, um..." As I list them out my mind can't help but go back to those faceless men in scrubs causing my chest to only tighten.

"Carry on, you're doing great," Liam prompts me while Noah rubs soothing circles on the top of my other hand.

"Six?" I cry as the throbbing in my head increases and my energy slowly continues to drain.

"Yeah, then?" Noah encourages.

"Eight, ten...twelve, eighteen." After a lot of trying, I'm finally able to refocus my mind back to counting as I push aside all of my thoughts and focus solely on the color black.