Nightmares of Caitlin Lockyer

Part 25

25

"Good morning, here's your breakfast."

The ladies who served the hospital meals always seemed too cheerful to be real. The sleepless nights with Caitlin had meant they usually woke me from an uneasy doze, only serving to heighten the impression that their bright smiles were a hallucination. Yet here was one, smiling first at me, then at Caitlin.

"I heard you were awake, hon." The woman winked at her. "I wasn't sure what you'd like, so I picked out the best of this morning's breakfast menu for you. I'll give you your menu, too, so you can order what you like for tomorrow."

Jokes about bad hospital food aside, I'd soon learned that they didn't apply to this place. I was most of the way through my eggs before I thought to ask Caitlin about her breakfast.

Swallowing the last mouthful of egg, I asked her, "So, what's the best of this morning's breakfast menu?"

When she didn't reply, I looked over at her, only to see her breakfast was still covered. She concentrated on keeping the glass of orange juice between her bandaged hands firmly enough to lift it off the tray. She managed to take a mouthful of juice before slowly and carefully returning the glass to the tray.

"Caitlin? How's your breakfast?" I asked, realising that, aside from the juice, her tray was untouched. She stared down at the tray, her lips pressed firmly together. She can't even feed herself, I realised. And she's trying not to cry about it but she's not going to ask for help, either.

I took a step toward her, leaned over and pressed her nurse call button.

"Hey!" She turned her tear-filled eyes on me, suddenly angry.

"You need someone to help you with your breakfast," I told her gently.

"I was managing fine!" She reached for the orange juice again, but only succeeded in knocking the glass off the tray and onto the bed. "Oh hell." Her tears spilled over, too, streaking down her cheeks as she tried clumsily to climb onto her pillows without using her hands, to avoid the spreading pool of orange on her sheets.

I hesitated a second before I offered, "Please, let me help." This time I didn't wait for an answer. I lifted her out of her bed and transferred her to mine. I pushed my breakfast tray away from her and dragged her breakfast-laden table over. She turned away from me, reaching for a tissue that she couldn't grasp.

I reached over her for the same tissue with markedly more success. I carefully wiped every trace of tears from her face before I helped her blow her nose. It wasn't until I walked away from her to put the tissues in the bin and wash my hands that she spoke.

"Thank you," she said in a small voice. I didn't say anything.

When I returned, I sat next to her on the bed, pulling my tray onto the table beside hers. I lifted the cover off her plate to find she'd been given the same as me.

"So, do you want those eggs?" I asked her.

"Just the thought of being fed like a baby makes me lose my appetite," she stated in the same small voice, not looking at me.

"Because I wouldn't mind them, if you're not eating them," I continued, as if she hadn't spoken. I picked up her cutlery and started to cut them into bite-sized pieces. I slid one piece onto the fork and waved it in front of her. "Last chance."

She took it. She chewed thoughtfully with her eyes closed for a moment before she swallowed and looked at me.

"More?" I asked blithely, loading up the fork again.

"Please," she answered with a hesitant, watery smile.

I helped her to eat as much as she could, occasionally taking a bite of the remains of my breakfast. She ate the eggs and some toast, but she wouldn't touch the cereal.

I offered her my orange juice, as yet untouched, in place of her lost one. She threw her arms around me in a hug as unexpected as it was clumsy, considering the orange juice was part of it.

"Thank you so much, Nathan," she murmured in my ear. Then she gasped and pulled away from me, suddenly very interested in her near-empty breakfast tray.

I turned to see what had startled her and saw the now-forgotten nurse I'd summoned with the call button.

"She shouldn't be out of her bed." The nurse glared at me as she spoke. Her name badge read Judith. Oh, Nurse Carol's friend, I thought. Who told her I'm Caitlin's boyfriend. Before she called me a sleazy bastard. Right…

"We had an accident with some orange juice. Until you can get someone to change the sheets, I'm sure she'll be perfectly comfortable in my bed." I gave the nurse a smile that said, I know there's more than one way you can take that and they're all true.

More than a little flustered, she mumbled something about linen as she bundled up the orange sheets and left in a hurry.