Avalon and Maddock

Chapter 2: Maddock

I walked into our home, my tie loosened, suit jacket off, tired to the very depths of my being.

My wife lay curled up on the couch, her lashes feathering against the dark circles under her eyes. "Avalon," I said softly as I knelt down beside her. "Sweetheart, wake up."

Her eyes slowly blinked open and she sat up. Where there once would have been a welcoming smile for me, her face was now impassive. I deserved that, I knew, and she didn't even know the extent to which I deserved it yet.

In an instant, she read my face. "What is it?"

"We need to talk."

"So this isn't going to be a good conversation."

"I need to explain what's been going on."

"Why now? Why haven't you talked to me in seven months? Why tonight? What's changed?"

"It's a long story."

Peering at my face, her eyes narrowed at something she saw there.

"Let me ask you a few questions first," she said, and something in her voice made me nod warily.

"Does this story involve another woman?"

"Yes, but –"

"Stop!" She shot up a hand. "These questions are going to be yes or no, and that's all I want to hear right now."

I nodded again. I'd give her this. It would kill me, but I'd consider this penance.

"Did you kiss her?"

"Yes."

"Did you have sex with her?"

"No."

"Was she on your business trips with you?"

"Yes."

"Did you have dinners with her?"

"Yes."

"Did you ever share a room with her?"

"No."

"Do you love her?"

"No."

"Were you involved emotionally?"

"I don't even know what that means." 

She glared at me. "It means...have you been talking to her about your problems, about things that are worrying you, sharing things with her that you should be telling your wife?"

My eyes closed briefly. "Yes."

"Have you been involved with her this whole seven months?"

"Most of it, but not in the way – "

She held up her hand to stop me, her eyes holding so much pain I felt shame to my very soul. I watched helplessly as this woman I loved processed this information, hating that I'd caused her pain, hating myself for what I'd done, the mistakes I'd made.

"Sweetheart, I need to explain everything to you. It's more than yes or no answers. There's so much that's been going on –"

The look she turned on me was lethal, quite a feat considering tears were streaming down her face.

"I asked the important questions. You cheated on me; you ignored your boys and your wife for another woman."

"It wasn't like that, Avalon. I swear." My voice was low, earnest, trying to convey to her my sincerity.

"Yes, it was," she said choking on her tears. "You definitely had an emotional and, to a limited extent, if I can believe anything you said, a physical affair. You kissed her, and there's a lovely shade of lipstick right by your ear that tells me you two were close enough for her to kiss you where no woman but your wife should kiss you."

Shit. "Tonight was the first and only time."

"Do you think that matters? You kissed another woman, a woman who is most definitely not me because you haven't really kissed me in seven months. So here's what's going to happen. You have ten minutes to go upstairs, pack a suitcase or four and get the hell out of here. Go to your girlfriend. You are free to be with her now. She is welcome to you because I am done with you."

I surged forward onto my knees, grabbing my wife's hands, my eyes imploring her.

"Avalon, please listen to everything before you do this. It's not what you think, not at all."

"You admitted you kissed her and have been involved with her emotionally. I don't need to hear your excuses. I just want you to go."

"Please, no. If you'd just listen –"

"I tried to listen for seven months! And now I heard more than enough. So get out before I lose it and start screaming and wake up the boys! Don't you understand? You can go be with your girlfriend! You've been with her the last seven months, so tonight shouldn't be any different! You can stop living a lie and go be with her. All I want is you gone!"

"I don't want to be with her. Don't end us over this, sweetheart."

Surprising the hell out of me, Avalon shoved against my chest with all her might, sending me off my knees and into the coffee table behind me. "Let me be perfectly clear: you ended us. Not me – you."

Reading her mood, I knew I wouldn't be getting through to her tonight. "I'll go to a hotel tonight. I'll give you time to think about us, think about what we have, let me talk to you about what's actually been going on for the last seven months and I promise we can work through this. You are the woman I love, the only woman I love, and I want to be with you. Only you."

"Such a liar," she sneered at me. "If you loved me, only wanted to be with me, you would have been with me for the last seven months, not some other woman. And for the record, if I were to think about what we have, we have nothing anymore and you made it that way."

Scrubbing my hands over my face, I shook my head. "I'll give you what you want tonight. But we will talk, Avalon. I'm going to make you understand exactly what's been happening."

She stood up and stepped away from me. "There are no words that will ever make me understand you pushing me away, pushing your family away month after month so you could be with another woman. I don't want a cheater. She's welcome to you."

I couldn't find her after I packed a small overnight bag and walked to the garage door to leave. She'd probably sought refuge in Christian's room – he was a heavy sleeper, unlike Landon – and hidden there until she knew I'd driven away.