Secret Lovers

I Miss You

A month passed by and Miranda hadn't seen Ben very much at all. He seemed to have scheduled all his surgeries at the opposite time of the day from hers and she never saw him in passing when walking in the hallway anymore. She thought about how he would always glance and smile at her when they did or find something to tease her about.

She missed their time together so much that her heart physically hurt. But the feelings she had for been were so much more than platonic and she couldn't be labeled a cheater no matter how much she and Tucker weren't compatible for each other anymore. They hadn't been for years but she choose to make it work. Now she'd met this man who quickly became her best friend and they had feelings for each other but they couldn't act on them without it being a secret.

She knew she didn't want to be a cheater but being away from Ben was a heartache she couldn't stand. She would just work hard to keep her romantic feelings at bay because she really missed her friend.

The end of the day came and Miranda was searching for Ben. She ran into Richard after she looked in the attendings lounge.

"Hey Dr. Webber, do you know if Dr. Warren is still here?" Miranda asked.

"He went into an emergency surgery in O.R 3 about two hours ago. Hmmm I've noticed that you two haven't been hanging out as much. I know this is intrusive but is everything okay between you two?"

Miranda looked up at her mentor and gestured for him to follow her into the lounge. When she closed the door she just stood there for a moment before speaking.

"I'm going to confess something to you because I think you will understand. Ben and I—

"Oh God Bailey you slept with the man, I thought you and Tucker have been good for awhile now," Richard interrupted.

"NO! Can I actually tell you what's happening first....you know that in a short period of time Ben and I had become good friends."

"Yeah, I was almost jealous because you're spending so much time with him instead of coming to me like usual."

Miranda chuckled and continued, "We've honestly had a deeper connection since we met but out of respect for my marriage we've just acted as friends. He makes me feel things that Tucker has never made me feel. He is more emotionally and mentally supportive and I feel safe with him."

Richard stood there listening intently as Miranda continued to share. "Well I noticed that my feelings for him were becoming more. And I don't want to cheat on my husband so I decided to stop talking to Dr. Warren. He got upset and asked what was the issue and I told him the truth and he confessed his feeling for me too. We agreed that we should spend some time apart so that we can let these feelings die down but I miss him so much," Miranda explained as tears welled up in her eyes.

Miranda began to pace back and forth as she talked. "And I know it's not right to feel this feelings for another man when I've been married for almost 30 years. But the only reason I stayed with Tucker is because he's the only man I've ever known romantically and I was scared to start over. Now there is this man who is my friend and he understands me and sees me but I can't have him because I decided to stay married. But I can't keep going without him even if it means saying no to these deeper feelings....I just miss my friend," Miranda said crying.

Richard knew this was serious because Bailey was never one to share her personal business in the work place. The amount of times that she confided in him on deeply personal issues over the years he could count on one hand. She was usually the one counseling him. 

"Miranda you know that I had an affair decades ago.  I was in love with her even though I let my ego keep us from pursing a life with each other. So I understand where you are coming from. But do you want to continue in a mediocre marriage out of fear or take the risk and be with someone who obviously your soul and heart loves?"