Secret Lovers

No choice But the Truth

The feeling of knowing that Ben was really through with her made her feel sick. He was no longer avoiding her but it was almost as if she didn't exist to him anymore and she felt she couldn't take it. Miranda came out of a patients room and saw Ben flirting with a nurse and a huge wave of heat coursed through her body she felt so angry. She rushed back to her office, slammed the door and cried. She couldn't handle this treatment, it felt worse than the 30 years of not being valued by her husband.

Miranda felt he was only acting this way because he was trying to prove he was over her. But if he felt the way she felt she knew he wasn't truly over her. Miranda was walking to her lab when she saw Ben again in the hallway. He handed a chart off to a nurse and was about to walk away when Miranda called his name.

"Dr. Warren, can I have a word with you?"

Ben turned and sighed before walking up to Miranda. "I don't like this....can we at least go back to being friends?" Miranda whispered.

"I think it's best that we not be anything to each other. If we're not having to help save a life, we should just be cordial and pass each other by," Ben said plainly with a nonchalant look on his face.

Miranda was shocked, the man she loved was acting as if he had no care in the world for her and it hurt her feelings. Ben saw the tears well up in Miranda's eyes as she rushed pass him. She hurried into her lab and closed the door. Ben waited for a moment and walked to the lab door and looked in at Miranda. She was crying and wiping her tears profusely. He hated that he was acting so mean towards the woman he loved but he had to protect his heart. If he couldn't have all of her, he just didn't want her at all.

Miranda laid in bed staring at the bedroom door. It was her day off and Tucker was at work. She was so thankful for this day off because she felt horrible both physically and emotionally. Even after the way that Ben had been treating her she found herself still wanting to be with him.

Although she and Tucker had been going to therapy her heart and mind wasn't in it. It felt too late for them and she knew Tucker like herself was to afraid to admit it. Too afraid of the changes that would have to be made if they parted ways. But now knowing what it felt like to be loved the way she needed it and having to go without it was tearing her apart.

Miranda was jolted out of her thoughts by a huge wave of nausea and she quickly got up and ran to the bathroom. After she finished vomiting she sat there wondering what could possibly be causing her to feel this way. She had been experiencing slight nausea off and on for awhile now but never this much. Miranda's body went cold thinking of the possibly that she might be pregnant.

She and Tucker tried for years before they finally conceived their son Tuck. After that she never conceived again and they were okay with that. But Miranda wasn't sure that she wanted to start over being a mom if she was pregnant. She and Tucker had sex sparsely but she and Ben did it several times a week when they were together.

Miranda cleaned herself up and got dressed so she could go to the store and grabbed a few pregnancy test. She grabbed a four pack of digital pregnancy test, some ginger ale and ritz crackers before checking out then heading back home. She drank one of the ginger ale's on her way home so that she would be ready to pee when she got back home.

Miranda sat nervously on the toilet as she peed on each stick then waited for the required time so she could see the results. Her hand shook as she uncovered the test and read pregnant on all four stick. Miranda felt another wave of nausea hit her and this time she felt like she would faint.

Being pregnant at almost 50 years old was never something she imagined for herself. And she never imagined she would have to figure out who the actual father was. Miranda knew with this her marriage was over. She would never be able to deal with the guilt of having a baby when she knew that there was a huge possibly that the father was Ben and not Tucker. She had loss Ben and now she was going to lose her marriage.