After The Honeymoon

5. A Child's Innocence

"Fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man." - Frank Pittman

Salman

"Are you sure you'll be ok with her, all by yourself?" Noor asked me for the tenth time as I packed some snacks for Ayah and filled her diaper bag with enough diapers and wipes to last us for a day.

"Yes, Noor. I can handle her. I am her dad, you know. And a Pediatrician. That has got to count for something," I reassured my wife, trying to smile at her from behind my mask.

Yet, the worried look in her eyes persisted, and I was sure that behind her mask she looked even more apprehensive. "Aren't you getting late for the conference? Go get ready, I have everything under control. I promise."

I had to go into work too, but was only going to be doing some research work while sitting in the shared office with some co-fellows. Luckily, my co-fellows were fairly laid back bunch, and I was sure would have no problem if a toddler tagged along.

Should be 'easy peasy'.

However, as I soon realized, there is no such thing as 'under control' or 'easy peasy' when you have a rambunctious toddler who has a mind of her own. It took me more than half-an-hour of chasing her around the house and gathering her stuff to finally get her out of the front door.

As soon as I strapped her into her car seat, she cried for her 'Tiggy,' an orange and black striped stuffed tiger I had mailed to her a few months ago at a time when I couldn't even bring myself to live at home with her. Thankfully I was over that period, a progress affirmed by Dr. Wheeler. Ayah's carefree toddler antics had played a significant role; whenever she wanted me, her puppy eyes triggered my paternal instincts, prompting me to pick her up, mask or no mask.

If only I could feel more comfortable around Ayah's mom too, I silently wished, my heartbeat picking up pace just a bit at the memory of her walking out of the shower, wrapped in nothing but a towel.

Though, right now I was getting late for work and Ayah was still calling out for her toy, and I had no choice but to snap back into fatherhood.

"Ayah, is there anything else you want other than Tiggy? We're not coming back again." I warned my daughter as we stepped back into the house, not that she understood much of it.

In fact, she didn't reply to me, but as I looked around for her stuffed toy she wiggled her way out of my arms and squealed, "Mama...!!" before running away.

Spotting Tiggy beneath a pile of toys, I swiftly grabbed it before turning to leave again with my daughter. However, the sight of the two most important people in my world gave me pause.

At the entrance of our main bedroom, my daughter was in the arms of her mother wearing a grey suit, her pink silk shirt accentuating the blush on her cheeks. Her hair was pinned back stylishly, with loose curls cascading down her shoulders. Temptingly full lips had curled into an adoring smile as she lovingly kissed our daughter on her forehead.

"Wow," a hushed whisper left me. How has she become even more beautiful over the last year, I wondered.

Despite living together, it seemed like I hadn't truly seen my wife in a long time. Now, as I really looked at her, taking in her perfection, it felt almost like the first time I laid eyes on her. I even recognized that suit-it was the same one she wore when she won an award during her intern year. Just like that day, I couldn't take my eyes off her, struggling to catch my breath.

She finally realized I was staring at her, and immediately that look of concern was back in her eyes as she mumbled, "Sorry Salman. I'll put my mask on."