Serendipity

Chapter 51

Raffaele

I've missed this. God, I've missed being this close to Elodie. Am I still mad at her? Yeah, probably. But I've missed her even more and this is finally starting to feel like us.

She feels like heaven stretched out around me, her body like putty in my hands as I rub her clit in pace with my thrusts. After the wait, I'm almost willing to say she feels better than ever before and shit if I wasn't dying to tell her that. The only problem is that it's taking all my self-control not to come right now so I focus on my movements with all I've got to keep me distracted.

If I told her everything that's on my mind right now and felt her twitching and moaning in reaction to it, I wouldn't be able to stop the tingle at the base of my spine from bursting into a full-blown climax. No, I'm desperate to get her there with me first.

When her walls start pulsing around me more desperately, I quickly flip her back around and keep fucking her as she lies on her back. I'm sitting up on my knees, trusting down into her and pulling her back at me with my hands on her hips.

Her eyes are clenched shut, mouth forming a small "o" as she moans for me mindlessly. Fuck, she's beautiful. Sweaty and thoroughly fucked with my marks on her neck and tits, looking so much like mine.

Unable to hold on any longer, I say, "Look at me," wanting her eyes. But when she complies, meeting my gaze as my orgasm is already in full swing, I don't see the heat I thought I would. Instead, I see tears and anguish.

I startle even as my spine stiffens and a groan rips out of me, reaching my peak despite the dread coursing through me. I hold myself still inside of her, spasming all the while wishing it would stop.

Elodie looks away with a wince as if she couldn't bear the sight of me any longer and a painful knot tightens in my stomach, finally putting a stop to my orgasm. Confused and hurt, I pull out of her, feeling even worse when she rushes to cover herself up by pulling her oversized shirt down as far as possible.

I watch her, at a loss of words as she slides away from me to sit at the very edge of her bed, all without ever meeting my eyes. What the hell is up? Am I really that dense that I've mistaken all her reactions to me and what just happened as something good when really, they put that look on her face?

"Elodie? What's up?" I ask gently, adjusting my own clothes before moving towards her. I reach out, cupping her face with both of my hands and wiping away her tears. She shrugs but doesn't look at me, crossing her arms over her chest tightly.

My heart aches impossibly more, feeling hollow and cold as I look at her. I'm getting a déjà vu to the time in my office the day before she left. Fuck, did I really fuck up like that again? We never ended up talking about it because so much has happened after but now I wish we had.

"Come on, little one. Talk to me," I continue, my anger from before gone. It's replaced by regret when my girl sobs, biting down hard on her lower lips in a futile attempt to stifle the sound. My hold on her face turns firmer- hopefully more comforting- as I pull her lip from her teeth, hating to see the drop of blood there. I don't want her to hurt herself.

"I'm sorry for earlier. I don't know what's gotten into me. It was stupid," she finally says, shaking her head to herself. "I haven't been myself recently. I'm really sorry." She sucks in a shallow breath, still trying to stop crying and my heart tears down the middle.

I pull her into my arms, guilt clogging my throat. I hate seeing Elodie cry. She's been doing too much of it recently and knowing that this time it's my fault makes me feel like the biggest piece of shit. I was too harsh and should've dealt with her and my emotions more carefully.

I can't even begin to know what she's feeling right now but what's obvious is that I haven't been treating her the way I should have recently. I should have done better, assured her more and been persistent.

"It's okay. I'm sorry, baby. Didn't mean to make you cry. Never meant to hurt you. I was being an idiot. Talk to me, okay?" I say, hoping my words sound less shallow to her than my own ears. How many times have I apologized to her already? Yet here we are again. I just can't seem to stop messing up.

Elodie clings to me like a lifeline but does not speak. I stroke the back of her head, unsure what else to do. "Why are you crying, Elodie? Did I hurt you?" I ask slowly, dreading the answer. Maybe I was too rough this time? I did take a lot of emotions out on her.

She shakes her head, whispering "It's fine." Yeah, that's not very reassuring.

Even though I don't want to, I pull away from the embrace to see her face. She's breathing more evenly, though her eyes are puffy and red. At least she's looking at me now, searching my eyes as I wait for her to elaborate. She takes a deep breath.

"Why didn't you kiss me? Before today," she finally asks, looking uncomfortable as red splotches creep up her neck. I hate to think I'm making her uncomfortable but we can't go on without talking.

Why haven't I kissed her? Wasn't that obvious? She's been to hell and back so I figured jumping any such kind of expectations on her would be inappropriate. I thought she'd come to me or say something when she was ready. What explanation did her clever mind come up with?

"I wanted to give you time. I wanted to kiss you. Every damn time I looked at you. Hell, even when I wasn't looking at you, but I wanted to give you space and something less to worry about," I admit, taking her hand in mine.

She sniffles and shrugs. "You failed. I thought you were sick of me." She tries to laugh it off but it's a weak attempt. Sick of her? Is she crazy? I could never be sick of her.

"Why would I spend my every last free minute with someone I was sick of?" I ask her, hoping to make her see.

"Pity?" she guesses half-heartedly.

"God, you're dense, little one. I don't pity you. And I'm sure as fuck not sick of you. You're stuck with me, for the worse or the better. You know too much," I tease her, glad when a small smile teases the corners of her lips.

"One more thing, don't ever fuck me like that again," she adds. I can feel my brows drawing together.

"Rough?" I ask.

"No. Don't ever stop being rough with me. But not like this. Do it like you used to. Talk to me like you used to. Caress me even when you thrust so deep I'll feel you for days. I like that. What we did just now made me feel bad," she tells me truthfully and while I'm glad we're talking, I hate to hear that.

Made her feel bad? That's the last thing I want to make her feel when we're together.

"I'm really sorry. If it ever happens again, promise to stop me, okay?"

"I can try," she shrugs.

"Try? You know I'd stop as soon as you say the word, right?" I ask, really getting agitated now. If I made her feel like she didn't have the power to stop me at any given moment, I'll never forgive myself.

To my relief, Elodie laughs. "I know, that's not what I meant," she says. At my questioning look, she clarifies, "My body liked what you did, Raffaele. My heart and head just didn't fully agree. But enough about that, now. Tell me how things went with Diane."

And so I do. I tell her that we agree on being allies and that we're planning a banquet, a real one, to make it official. We haven't set the date but I'm guessing it'll be soon. I tell her Diane is anything but mad at her for killing her father and that this time, she'll be at my side when I make my entrance.

I don't care what people think and how many times I need to demonstrate to them who their boss is, it's time to stop fucking around.

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Glad we got that shit figured out now, let's get to the good, couply stuff before this story is over...

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