i lay sideways on the edge of my bed, crying as mom softly strokes my hair, laying behind me. "i feel so stupid...." i mutter between sniffles. "honey, why would you feel stupid?" mom asks. "because... all summer long i've been thinking about myself and susannah was sick and i didn't even know!" i say, mom's hand now on my shoulder. "it's okay... that's how she wanted it," mom says, "that's exactly how she wanted it." "how long have you known?" i ask, mom letting out a sigh. "since the spring," she answers, "she didn't wanna burden you kids with it. she wanted one last summer with you guys," she says, making me cry even harder. "but what about you?" i ask, turning my head to look up at her. "what about me?" she says. "you had to carry it all by yourself," i say. i hear mom start to cry, and i look up, seeing her wipe her eyes with one hand. she wraps her arms around me, and we both start to cry together.
the door opens and we both look up, seeing steven with puffy, red eyes. "she's not gonna get better, is she?" he asks. "no," mom says, shaking her head. he looks down, and starts to walk to the other side of the bed, laying down behind mom. i turn to the other side, and mom wraps her arms around us, kissing my head.
y/n's pov
"i'm so sorry the night turned out like this," mom says as we sit on the couch downstairs, "it's not how i wanted you to find out," mom says to steven. i stare at the coffee table in front of me. "mom, you're gonna do the trial, right?" jeremiah asks. "uh..." mom says, "no, honey. i'm not. i can't. chances are very slight, uh, nonexistent really, and, i just can't go through that again. it was too hard the first time." "mom, but you could try." jeremiah says, "you have to try." "i just wanna be me when i go," mom says, "does that make sense?" "no, no it doesn't make sense. none of this makes sense-" "i know, i know." mom interferes, nodding her head, "i'm not good at this, okay? mommy's not good at this," she says, putting her hand on jeremiah's cheek.
her hand goes to my thigh, rubbing it softly. "i should've known that you knew... i just didn't wanna believe it." she says. "mom, if there's any chance, you have to. i mean, you have to." jeremiah says, mom's hand going down my back. "come on, tell her y/n." he says, looking at me. i look at him with a blank expression. "why aren't you saying anything? mom, this is crazy. you have to try! you can't give up on us!" jeremiah says. "mom?" i ask softly, making her look at me. "can't you just... i mean, can't you just try?" i whisper, "for us, mom? i need you."
she puts a hand on my shoulder, pulling me towards her as tears fall down her face. "come here," she says softly, and i lean into her, wiping my tear with my palm as jeremiah leans into mom on the other side of her. after an hour of staying close together, we end up going upstairs as sofia goes into the kitchen.
i walk to olivia's room, hesitating on whether or not to go in, in case she needed time for herself. i take a deep breath, opening her door. olivia was on her bed, blanket over her head. you could hear light sniffles coming from her, and i walk to the other side of her bed, laying in after closing the door. "liv," i whisper, pulling the blanket down as i pull it under my armpit. i wrap my arm around her waist, moving closer to her. "i'm so sorry, y/n, i'm so sorry you knew this whole summer," she whispers, turning to face me. "it's okay, livie," i whisper back, olivia shaking her head as more tears roll down her face. "i feel so awful," she says, hugging me tight as she cries into my chest. "you don't need to... it's okay," i comfort liv, sighing as i close my eyes.
as olivia's crying seemed to die down, we lay in silence, embracing each other. "how did you find out?" liv asks as i run my hands through her hair. "i just overheard your mom and my mom," i say, "i wish i could've told you olivia. but i didn't wanna ruin your summer." i explain, sighing as i close my eyes.
i wake up as i hear sofia calling out. "alright, everybody down here, we still have to eat!" she yells from downstairs. "shit," i mumble, rubbing my eyes. "liv," i say, waking her up. "what? huh?" she says, opening her eyes. "dinner," i say, olivia sitting up slowly. "yeah, totally forgot about dinner." she says, chuckling.
"livie, can you pass the spaghetti bowl?" i ask, olivia standing up from her seat. everyone overlaps in chatter, passing me the bowl of spaghetti. "thank you," i say, putting some on my plate and placing it where there was empty room on the table.
after dinner, i lay in bed, going to disney plus. after a few seconds, olivia comes into my room, laying beside me. i click on wandavision, continuing on from where we left off. i wrap an arm around olivia, leaning on her collarbone as she giggles, resting her head on mine. after the remainder episode and the one after, we decide to go to bed. "wanna sleep in here tonight?" i ask olivia. she gives me a big smile, nodding.
after getting ready, we lay down in my bed again. i turn off the bedside lamp, olivia's arms loosely around my neck as she lays almost exactly on top of me. "am i squishing you?" olivia asks. "no, you're okay," i whisper into her ear. "are you sure? i don't wanna be suffocating you." "you're not suffocating me, liv," i say, chuckling, "it's perfect, you're perfect." olivia lets out a small giggle, and shifts in the bed. her lips go to my chin, kissing it quickly before moving away, then her lips press against mine.
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⚪️y/nfisher
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