Somewhat Damaged | Tim Riggins

Eight

EIGHT | STUPID

I really didn't want to go to school today, but mom forced me. I tried to fake sick but she saw through my bullshit and I didn't care to explain what had happened at a party she didn't know I went to. I could skip, but the school would call mom and I don't need more shit from her.

Sweat is collecting on my back as I walk into school. I keep my head low and walk as fast and possible, silently praying nobody is looking at me. Not everybody went to that party, mostly people who care about football.

Which, I'm realizing, is most people at this school.

"Kasey"

I freeze in the middle of the hallway.

His voice. Goddamnit.

"Kasey?" Tim says again, but I can't tell if he's asking a question or making a statement.

I slowly turn, my heart pounding so hard I can feel it in my throat.

I avert my gaze, choosing to look at my shoes. Suddenly I feel insecure about what I'm wearing. My hair is greasy and I still have smudged eyeliner on my face that I never took off.

"It was nice seeing you at the party." Tim says, leaning against the lockers.

I only nod, afraid to speak and even more afraid to look at him.

"What's your problem? I thought we had a moment."

I finally look up, realizing that Tim is fucking with me. Like he fucks with everyone. He doesn't care about me, or how I look, I'm just a toy for him to play with until he finds something more interesting.

"There was no moment, Tim. I was drunk." I say.

Tim smirks, "Drunk words, sober thoughts."

I roll my eyes, "You're a douchebag."

"Ouch, Cardin. Didn't know you had a mean streak." He says, his steely eyes lingering on me for a second too long.

"I'm gonna be late for class." I quickly turn, but Tim grabs my arm before I can get away.

"Wait, Kase-"

I wrench my arm away, "Don't call me that I keep fucking telling you-"

"Cardin, just shut up for five seconds, will ya? Jesus. I'm sorry, okay. Sorry" He has his hands raised, like I'm pointing a gun at him.

I look around, realizing we've been talking too loud. People are staring. Fuck. Shit. I can't be the center of attention again. I quickly look around, and spot the back exit. We need to get out of here. I grab Tim's arm and pull him out the door before he can stop me.

The air outside is cool and I take in a deep breath, trying to control my trembling heart. I steal a glance at Tim, who's leaning against the brick exterior. His hair brushes his jaw, covering his eyes. For a moment, he looks unsure of himself. For one moment, I catch a glimpse of a different Tim Riggins.

I shove my hands in my pockets, "Why do you keep talking to me? Please, just be honest. I don't need anymore shit at this school." I hate that my voice is shaking, but it's the truth. I need to know if he's messing with me.

Tim's eyebrows furrow together, "I'm not trying to fuck with you, Kasey. Well, I mean, I was...but..." He runs a hand down his face. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore."

I don't think he's just talking about me anymore, but I don't say anything.

"Nobody gives a shit about you, Kasey." Tim says, flexing his jaw. He glances up at me, "You've heard?"

I shrug, "We've all done fucked up shit. I can't really judge."

Tim smiles softly, "No, you can't."

"So you've heard about me." I meet his eyes, trying to read his expression.

Tim shrugs, "Like you said, we've all done fucked up shit." Then he turns to leave and disappears inside the school - leaving me alone with my thoughts.

His words, my words, buzz around in my head.

We've all done fucked up shit.