A MERRY MAFIA CHRISTMAS (GxG)

XXXVI

My Christmas List: December 15th
Let it be easier for me to open up.

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For what felt like the fifteen thousandth time, I dug the plastic straw into the table, hoping to remove the outer paper cover.  To say I was frustrated would be an understatement. 

Perhaps not at the straw. Just... other things. The straw just happened to be at the opposing end of it all.  

"Here Mira take mine," Leo said, laughing slightly as he held out the already-opened straw. 

I shook my head. "No, it's fine," I said, continuing to jab the straw into the table. 

CeCe laughed. "Am I about to witness a plastic straw death?" 

I looked up at CeCe blankly before continuing to jab the straw down onto the hard surface. "It's literally about the purpose at this point," I said, just as the straw finally broke free from the white paper. 

It feels like everything is solely based on the purpose nowadays. 

Like how I've been ignoring Armani for the past three days since it's the 'purpose' given what happened. 

There's not really anything to say unless I'm ready to apologize—which I am—but it wouldn't just include apologizing. That's the issue. 

I would have to give her an explanation. Open up to her even. 

And that's not something that I'm quite sure I'll ever be ready to do. 

"Mira, are you okay?" Leo asked, immediately making my eyes dart away from the wall I zoned off into.

Is it obvious that I'm a wreck without Ani?

I nodded, forcing a smile, but for some reason, it felt like a grimace due to how hard it was to force the expression in the first place. "Yeah, why do you ask?" 

CeCe pursed her lips together. "Well, you've been very quiet the past couple of days or so—you get a little wound up over minor inconveniences, and well..." she trailed off, tilting her head. "The look on your face isn't exactly helping." 

I sighed, sitting back in the booth. For some reason, I'm already prepared to admit defeat and spill everything to them already. I'm way too mentally exhausted to forge a lie and something tells me they know about me and Armani already. 

"Is this about boss—or Armani?" Leo said, correcting his previous label. 

Yep, they definitely know. 

"Everyone sort of knows there's a thing going on between you guys since the whole incident with her and her brother," CeCe said, which made my brows knit together in confusion. Picking up on this CeCe added, "Between how worried you were, her walking off privately with you, and her father reportedly spending time with you—it's clear something is going on, especially since she's not known for being that close with anyone other than family." 

After a silent moment of looking between the two in challenge, which only made them keep raising their brows, I inevitably nodded. 

"Okay, fine, something was or maybe still is going on," I said. 

Leo put down the water that he was taking a sip from. "So something happened."

It wasn't a question—more of a statement. Like it was already clear. 

"Yeah," I sighed out, and I could hear the stress lingering in my voice. "I'm just..." I trailed off, unsure of how to explain a situation that I couldn't even explain to Armani herself. "Armani found something out... and, well she wants an explanation, and I'm not exactly ready to open up and give her that yet."